I decided, on the day before my knee replacement surgery, that I would keep a diary of the experience. I made a few entries that Sunday night, and then caught it up after I got home from the hospital. Each morning I have been making notes on the previous day.
Today I want to share some of that with you. Not to worry. This is not a post listing all my aches and pains and medications. That's of no real interest to anyone other than me.
But I do want to share with you some of what I consider to be the high points of this journey. Those high points are the times when that still, small voice of God has spoken into my spirit exactly what I needed at exactly the time I needed it.
It began on Sunday. Although I was actually looking forward to the surgery, or at least to the end result, there was at the same time that natural apprehension about "going under the knife." It was during those moments that the Spirit of God whispered these words into my spirit:
"Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on Thee." (Isaiah 26:3 KJV)
On the morning of surgery, our good friends Max and Becky arrived at the hospital to pray with us before surgery. In his prayer, Max included this verse, one of my favorites:
"Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life." (Psalm 143:8 NIV)
Those verses went in to surgery with me, giving me a sense of peace and calm to replace the apprehension.
On Tuesday, I awoke feeling a little queasy and experiencing some pain, as might be expected. Even so, the physical therapist arrived to get me up and walking, which I confess I dreaded. I had a horror that the leg wouldn't hold me up and I would fall over in a heap, or that I would pass out, or that some other terrible thing was going to happen. And I just knew it would really, really hurt to stand up. (It didn't!) In the middle of all that came these words:
"Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go." (Joshua 1:9 NASB)
And so, even though I threw up in the process, I managed to be strong and courageous, and to get out of bed, walk across the room and back to the chair. Later that day, I was once again strong and courageous as I walked down the hall to the nurse's station and as I learned how to deal with steps.
Yesterday I had my first outpatient physical therapy appointment. The first of many. It was hard. It hurt. Again, I remembered "Be strong and courageous!" And as I lay there on that therapy table trying my best to get this knee to bend just a little bit more, I was reminded of these words:
"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." (Philippians 4: 13 NASB)
The context of that verse has nothing at all to do with physical therapy! Even so, God called it to my mind in a moment when I needed reminding that He will get me through this!
I'm doing wonderfully well in my recovery. I know that, but even so, there are moments of frustration. Moments when I'm aware of just how much right now I, a very independent person, have to be dependent on others. Moments when I realize that this will take time, perhaps a long time. Moments when it just hurts.
In those moments, this verse comes to mind:
"Be still and know that I am God." (Psalm 46:10)
These are just a few of the entries in my Knee Replacement Diary. I'm sure there will be many more as this process continues. Because it is exactly that. A process.
Through the process, God is at work in my physical body. But also in my spirit, bringing the peace and comfort that only He can give.
"When I understand that everything happening to me is to make me more Christlike, it resolves a great deal of anxiety." (A. W. Tozer)
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