Tuesday, March 28, 2017

Happy Birthday, AJ!

Where has the time gone? Today is the anniversary of the day I became a Nana. Today my grandson AJ is 11 years old!

I can still so vividly remember that day, just a couple of weeks after we had moved to the mountains, as I waited for the news that he had made his appearance in this world.  What an exciting day that was!

And then, just a few days later, we met for the first time.

 
We spent some time together.
 
 
He was dedicated to the Lord.
 
 
Since then, time has just flown by!
There have been lots of adventures.
 
 


 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 






 
 
It's really hard to believe it's been 11 years since we welcomed this little guy into the world! 
 
Happy Birthday, AJ! Nana and Opa love you so very much!

Monday, March 27, 2017

So Many Reasons

This morning began as another gray, gloomy day. But now the sun is shining and the birds are singing! Definitely a reason for being thankful.

This morning I have already walked more than 2000 steps, according to my Fitbit, just back and forth around the house doing the usual Monday morning things. Another reason for being thankful!  On this day one year ago, I could barely walk at all as I was waiting for knee replacement surgery the following day.

A few days ago I had my one-year checkup for my replacement knee and received an excellent report from the orthopedist. Such a good report that I don't need to have it checked again for five years!  That's another reason for being thankful!

This morning I did some simple addition and subtraction, and I did it correctly! That is a huge reason for being thankful! You may not be aware that since my stroke, anything to do with numbers has been a huge challenge for me, and even basic addition and subtraction was not something I was able to without a calculator. Even then, it was a struggle. But this morning I did it! Yes, it was very simple math. But I did it! And I am so thankful!

I'm so thankful for the therapists who have helped me through this challenging period in my life - the physical therapists and the occupational therapists, and most especially, my speech therapists. Deb, my therapist when I was an in-patient, and Julie, who I'm working with in outpatient therapy, are definitely two reasons for giving thanks this morning. When I think back on those days when I couldn't read or write or communicate, I am overwhelmed when I think about how far I have come. Thank you, Deb and Julie! Thank you, God!

So many people who have strokes don't have good outcomes. I'm reminded of that every time I go to therapy. And I am reminded how blessed I am and how good God has been to me!

Every day is a precious gift! I would like to be able to tell you that I never whine or complain, but that wouldn't be honest. But what I can tell you is that I whine a lot less than I used to in my "previous life"! One of the great blessings of this experience is realizing that ever day is a gift!

Even the less-than-I-would-like-them-to-be things about life are gifts. Aches and pains. A snoring husband. A neighbors loud car. All these are reminders that I can feel and I can hear. When I'm tired, it's a reminder that I am able to do the things that make me tired in the first place. All these things are precious gifts. The good things. The challenging things.

And I am so thankful!


"In everything give thanks, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."
(1 Thessalonians 5:18 NASB)

Thursday, March 16, 2017

Four Months Later

It was the day I didn't expect. The kind of day that happens to other people, not to me! But it did happen to me. Four months ago today, I had a stroke. Four months ago, life changed.

It seems like much longer. But it really has only been four months.

This morning I went to therapy. In fact, I'm really not sure what I will do with myself when I don't go to therapy any more! This morning, as we were working on reading and writing, we also talked about how far I have come in these four months.

If you didn't know what had happened to me and saw me out and about, you would have no idea what I have been through. I don't have the physical issues I had immediately following the stroke. I can walk as well as I did before, and I am regaining my strength. Most of the time, unless I'm really tired, I can carry on a perfectly normal conversation. Looking at me, or listening to me, would leave you completely unaware that anything has happened to me. It's remarkable, and I am so grateful for how God has brought me through this!

There are still issues. My therapist refers to them as things that need "fine tuning". I still struggle with numbers. Sometimes I get colors mixed up. And reading is the biggest struggle of all. My reading is improving, but it is much slower than it once was. I have to pick and choose what I try to read. For example, when I'm on Facebook or reading e-mail, I can only manage short sentences at a time. Interestingly, it's easier for me to read from my Bible than from any other book I have attempted.  When I do try to read from a book, it needs to have large print and certain fonts work better than others.

All of this is part of the process. I'm learning what I can and can't do. What works well and what I find too overwhelming. I still don't answer the phone, for example. I don't write checks. I don't pay the bill when we go out to eat. I could pay the bill with my debit card, but I can't figure out the tip and I can't add the tip to the bill and come out with the correct total. Right now, anything with numbers is just not in my wheel house.

Yes, there are things I can't do. But there are so many more things I can do! I am doing so much better than I would ever have dreamed possible in those first few days in rehab. And certainly far more than I would have believed based on what I've been told about those first few days in ICU.

I still have struggles. And I struggle more when I'm tired. But I'm doing well and adjusting well to my new normal.

I am a very blessed, very grateful woman. I certainly never expected to have a stroke. And in the first few weeks after, I never expected I would recover so well. Stroke recover is a process, and I still have a long way to go, but I am so very grateful for all the ways God has blessed me through this process.

From now on I suppose I will always be thinking about life as "before stroke" and "after stroke". Here in the "after stroke", life is different, but life is good. Each day is a precious gift. Perhaps that's once of the greatest gifts of this experience - viewing each day as a gift, as part of a new lease on life.

I don't do all the things I once did. I need a lot of naps and I run out of energy pretty quickly. But life is good, and I am blessed!

"I will bless the LORD at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth."
(Psalm 34:1 NASB)

Monday, March 13, 2017

Prone to Complain

I hate the time change.

There. I said it.

Even in my pre-stroke, didn't need nearly so much sleep, days. I don't understand the point of Daylight-Savings Time. We aren't saving any time. There are still only 24 hours in a day. What's the point of all this anyway?

So I find myself singing Prone to complain, Lord, I feel it........

And I suspect I may not be the only one.

Add to the time change the fact that we have been suddenly jerked back into Winter (it's 24 degrees as I am typing this post), I'm feeling a little out of sorts. Which has turned me into a bit of a whiner. Which means I need to redirect my thinking. Turn my thoughts in a different direction.

That happens to all of us from time to time, wouldn't you agree? It's really easy to focus on the things that annoy us, the things that frustrate us, the things that have us out of sorts. Things like the time change, or any number of other things.

But I'm tired of being out of sorts. I don't want to be cranky. So I'm choosing to redirect my thinking. 

I can't control the time change. But I can choose not to let it control me.

Today, I choose joy. I choose praise. I choose worship.

"Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless His holy name."
(Psalm 103:1)

Wednesday, March 1, 2017

A Good Day

Today is a good day to have a good day.

I came across that saying on Facebook this morning. It's something I have read before. Perhaps even something I have quoted from time to time. But today it is very appropriate, because this is a good day.

In spite of the gloomy weather.

In spite of the pollen.

In spite of all my rheumatoid challenges.

In spite of all that and more, this is a good day.

Today is one of the best mornings I have had since November. Today I feel more like myself than I have felt since my stroke.

No, I didn't wake up and discover this morning that I no longer have any stroke-related issues. I didn't suddenly discover that I can read and write just the way I used to, and I have no memory loss, and my vision is suddenly perfect again.

That didn't happen.

But what I did discover this morning was that I could read better than I have been able to read since the stroke. That I read several chapters of my Bible this morning without fumbling over the word. Yes, I still read more slowly than I did before. But there is a huge improvement today.

I worked on my therapy homework this morning and made fewer mistakes with numbers than I did yesterday. Huge improvement since yesterday.

But beyond these improvements, I feel better today. Significantly better. More like myself.

Will I still struggle with numbers? Or read more slowly. Or forget things. Or have trouble with words. Maybe. Probably.

But that's ok. Stroke recovery is a process. And today I'm feeling good!

Today is a good day to have a good day!