A Work in Progress

As I was scrolling through Facebook on Saturday morning, I read a post from Anne Graham Lotz that really grabbed my attention.  This is what she said:

"I am learning to rest. If my father goes to Heaven this week, this month, this year, or remains for a long time; if my husband regains his health and independence, or returns to the hospital in another series of crises; if my relationships are gloriously reconciled or remain broken; if my prayers are answered the way I have prayed, or continue to give no indication they have even been heard; if my ministry dries up or flourishes; if my financial resources remain sufficient for my needs or evaporate in medical expenses … like Habakkuk, I will rejoice in the Lord as I let go of what I want, when I want it, how I want it, and I lie down in the arms of my heavenly Father. Turning the thought around, when Jesus prayed from the cross, “Father, into Your hands I commit My spirit” (Luke 23:46), that’s what He did—He lay down in the arms of His heavenly Father."  (Anne Graham Lotz)

These words were a challenge to my heart.  This is how I want to feel.  This is what I want to be able to say.  This is what I want to be the true testimony of my life.

I confess to you that it isn't always that way.  Some days it's true.  But some days, not.  It's often hard for me to let go of what I want, when I want it, how I want it.  It's often hard for me to just rest in the arms of my Heavenly Father without holding on too tightly to what I want.

But oh, how it is the desire of my heart that I might come to that place.  That always, every day, I might have this attitude.  How it is the longing of my heart just to let go and rest.  Sometimes I am in that place.  But not always. 

Sometimes it's a challenge. But I am learning. I'm a work in progress.

"Though the fig tree should not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines, the produce of the olive fail and the fields yield no food, the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD; I will take joy in the God of my salvation."  (Habakkuk 3:17-18 ESV)