A Word of Correction

"Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer."  (Psalm 19:14 KJV)

These are familiar words.  Words I, and perhaps you, have quoted repeatedly.  I have ended prayers with these words.  I have made these words my entire prayer.  I have often rattled them off without a thought.

But recently these words have pierced my heart.

There were a couple of occasions recently that were really difficult for me to deal with.  On these occasions I was angry.  And beyond that, my feelings were hurt.  It happens sometimes, doesn't it?  Other people don't always make choices we agree with.  Their decisions don't always fit our plan.  Someone says something or does something, and we react. And when that happens, we don't always respond well.  I certainly didn't.

The first time, I reacted badly.  I said a lot of stuff.  Nobody heard me.  Except my husband, who had to listen to my rant.  And the Lord.  He heard me.

"Coincidentally" on that particular day, the verse of the day on my Bible app was the one that began this post.  I put "coincidentally" in quotation marks because I don't believe in coincidences, and I think having this verse come up on my phone on that particular day was definitely not a coincidence.

In the middle of my rant, I thought of that verse.  The words of my mouth weren't acceptable.  They were angry and unkind words.  Beyond that, the meditations of my heart definitely were not acceptable.  The things I thought, but didn't say, didn't honor the Lord at all.  I recognized the incongruity of claiming that verse for the day and then responding as I had.  I repented of the things I had said and the thoughts I had thought.

A few days later there was another similar incident.  Same people.  More hurt feelings (on my part).  More words and thoughts.  And the Psalm that was part of my daily Bible reading that day.....Psalm 19.  So, once again, on a day when my words and my thoughts were anything but pleasing, the Lord confronted me with this verse.

Today when I looked at the calendar in my kitchen window, there it was again:  let the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing in Your sight.

My first response was a bit self-serving. It isn't the words of my mouth that are the problem.  I don't swear.  I don't use "those" words.  I'm doing OK on that part.  It's just the meditations of my heart that are the problem really.

But then there was that gentle nudge from the Holy Spirit.  Is that really true?  Is the verse just talking about "those" words?  Does everything that comes out of my mouth honor the Lord?  Is everything that comes out of my mouth bringing glory to Jesus?  Is everything I say pointing others to Him? 

The Holy Spirit reminded me of Paul's admonition to the Thessalonian Christians to "walk in a manner worthy of God who calls you into his own kingdom and glory." (1 Thessalonians 2:12 ESV)

And then He took me to this passage in Ephesians:

"Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.  And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.  Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.  Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you."  (Ephesians 4:29-32 ESV)

As I ponder these passages, my heart is grieved by how I have failed the Lord.  Grieved at the things I have said and thought that are not in a manner worthy of the God who has called me.  You see, it isn't the things we say and do when all the world is watching that are really the issue.  It's the things we say and do when no one is watching that become the stumbling point.

My heart overflows at the goodness of God to correct me when I go astray.  To open my eyes to times when I fail Him.  To help me realize that, no matter what others do or don't do, my obligation is to Him.  To live a life that honors Him and draws others to Him.  May I always be obedient to that task.

Father, forgive me when I fail You.  Forgive me for my words that have not been pleasing to You.  Forgive me for the thoughts and the meditations of my heart that have fallen far short of what is acceptable in Your sight.  Forgive me when I have thought too highly of myself and have given myself too much credit.  Keep my heart and my mind fixed on You, dear Lord, and may I honor You in all do and say and think.  Amen.

"Search me, O God, and know my heart. Try me and know my thoughts.   And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."  (Psalm 139:23-24 KJV)