Worst. Game. Ever.

You know the one.  I'm not talking about baseball or football or hockey.  Or about Monopoly or Clue or Angry Birds.  Or about a card game or a video game.

It's the game we all play.  The one we deny playing, but we play all the same.  We're all too familiar with this game.  And it's the worst.  Worst. Game. Ever.

The comparison game.  The game where we never quite measure up.  Where we're always feeling less than.

Less pretty.  Less talented.  Less intelligent.  Less useful.  Less.

It's a terrible game.  Because it's based on a false premise.

This comparison game we play is based on the premise that what I think someone else is thinking about me is actually what they're thinking.  And most of the time, maybe even all the time, what they are actually thinking is miles away from what I think they are thinking.

And what "they" think of me doesn't really matter so much anyway, does it?  Isn't what the Lord thinks of me what really matters.  That's what we tell ourselves we believe, and most of the time we probably do.  But then there are those times when that little voice inside our heads starts talking to us and convinces us that we are less.  We start playing "the game".  Worst. Game. Ever.

It's the "I'm Completely Inadequate" game.  Also known as the "I'm Not Quite Good Enough" game.  Sometimes known as the "Nobody Else Ever Has Any Problems" game.  And there are all sorts of variations to this game.  The game has no rules.  Because we all make up our own rules.  And don't pretend you've never played this game.

It happens when we listen to our sister or our best friend or our neighbor or our church acquaintance or someone we just met.  You know her.  She bakes her own bread and grows all her own vegetables and upholsters furniture and makes drapes and has perfect children who are perfectly dressed and she has a perfect haircut and only eats organic food and goes on three cruises every year and never has any worries about money and she just finished her first novel which is now on the best-seller list.

The problem begins when we compare our worst day to her best.  Or at least what she reveals or we perceive that to be.

But the real problem is not that we're making a comparison of worst to best.  The real problem is making a comparison at all.

How much better life would be if we would stop playing this game.  If we could teach ourselves to stop making comparisons.  If we could learn to be content.  If we could shift our focus from what someone else is or has or does, and focus on becoming all that God intends each of us individually to be.  If we could keep our eyes fixed on Jesus rather than on someone else.  If we could focus on running the race He has set before us, rather than focusing on the race He set before someone else, or trying to run their race, or wishing we could. 

Perhaps that's the real secret to contentment.  Eyes fixed on Jesus.  Not on our neighbor or our friend or the celebrity on TV.  Not on what someone else has or does.  Eyes fixed on Jesus.  Not on playing that silly comparison game.  Which is the Worst. Game. Ever.

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God."  (Hebrews 12:1-2, ESV)

Ignored

I actually began this post quite some time ago.  I wrote it - and then deleted it - several times.  I think I must have been in the middle of some giant pity party when I began writing.  The reason for the pity party is long since forgotten.  But the reason for the deleting was that way too much of my pity party was showing through!  So in the interest of "speaking [or writing] only that which is good for building up" (see Ephesians 4:29), the "delete" button was given a workout!

All that got me started thinking about pity parties in general.  About why we have these pity parties.  I'm sure that varies from person to person. There are likely as many reasons to feel sorry for oneself as there are people! It might have to do with a bad medical diagnosis.  Or it might have to do with personal relationships or a break-up.  Maybe it comes as result of financial hardship or a job lay-off.  It could be that no matter how hard you try, you can't lose weight.  Or maybe it's just that you hate your hair color, or wish you were taller or shorter or maybe you're just tired.  Lots of different reasons for a pity party.

Maybe it all starts because we feel ignored.  By friends.  Or by family.  Maybe we weren't invited to a birthday party or a family gathering.  Maybe nobody called.  Maybe we didn't get picked to be on the team. 

Being ignored......no matter the reason......can really set off a flood of emotions, and can often lead to our feeling sorry for ourselves......the classic "pity party".

Did you ever stop to consider how God must feel when He's ignored?  He often is, you know.  I'm not meaning to suggest that God feels sorry for Himself.  I don't mean that at all.  But I do mean to suggest that perhaps the next time we're feeling pitiful because someone ignored us or didn't pay attention to our request or didn't do things the way we wanted them done (or any other of the myriad reasons we feel sorry for ourselves), perhaps we should stop and consider our own behavior.  As in.....if I am having a pity party because I feel that someone in my circle of family or friends is ignoring me and not including me in family plans, perhaps I should stop and consider whether or not I, however unintentionally, might have given them reason for that behavior.

But let's go deeper.  Let's take the focus off ourselves.  Off all the times we feel as if we have been ignored.  What about all those times when we ignore God?

When we never stopped to think of Him? Or what He might think about a particular choice?
When we didn't say "thank you"?
When we didn't consult His opinion?
When we didn't include Him in our activity or our thoughts or our decisions?

Those things probably happen much more often than we would like to admit.  But the reality is that when we choose one thing, we have to ignore another.  When we choose to spend our time going to the gym rather than having a morning quiet time, we have made a conscious decision that one of those things is more important than the other.  

Yes, physical exercise is important.  But how much more so is spiritual "exercise"!  It doesn't have to be an either/or decision.  But we do have to prioritize what's most important and order all our activites based on that priority.  Which means that we can't say God is most important and then put time with Him at the bottom end of our daily "to do" list.  We can't say "I love God", and then fail to spend any time with Him.

If you continually ignore your friends or family, and if you continually neglect to spend time with them or call them or include them in your invitations, what would that say about your relationship?

And if you continually ignore your relationship with the Lord and continually neglect spending time with Him and continually fail to include Him in your thoughts or activities, what does that say about the quality of your relationship?

Something to think about.

"For the LORD your God is gracious and merciful and will not turn away his face from you, if you return to him."  (2 Chronicles 30:9b ESV)

Special Blessings

It was a good weekend.  A weekend of interesting conversations.  Of making memories.

A couple of examples:

As we were waiting for Christopher's friends to arrive at the Brandon Ice Forum on Saturday afternoon for his laser tag birthday party, we watched some hockey.

Me:  "That looks like fun."
C:  "Yeah, but I'm not a very good skater."
Me:  "Well, if you practiced, you would probably get better."
C:  "Yeah, probably."

Yesterday afternoon as we were on our way out of Walmart, we started talking about peanuts (I have no idea why) and the conversation went something like this:

Me:  "Do you like peanuts?"
C:  "No."
Me:  "Is it just peanuts, or all nuts."
C:  "Pretty much all of them."
Me:  "Well, do you like watermelon?"
C:  "No."
Me:  "Do you like kumquats?"
C:  "No."
Me:  "Have you ever had a kumquat?"
C:  "No.  What's a kumquat?"

Good times.  I love, love, love making memories with my grandsons.  Since I don't see them nearly as often as I would like, every moment I get to spend with them is a special blessing.

And speaking of special blessings, I admit to having a wee bit of guilt as I'm feeling so thankful for the blessing of Florida sunshine and warm weather in January.  Particularly as I think of my friends in NC enduring ice and snow and frigid temperatures.  And even more as I think of my friends up in the tundra (also known as Minnesota) who are dealing with the kind of cold weather that makes me shiver just thinking about it.

I hope they are all staying warm.  I certainly am......sitting here enjoying palm trees and sunshine and warm weather.  And feeling so very thankful for these special blessings.  Warm weather and time with Christopher.  Could January be any better than that?

"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning;great is your faithfulness."  (Lamentations 3:22-23)

What Are We Teaching the Children?

Several weeks ago I watched an episode of one of my favorite TV shows, Chopped.  You may have seen the show.  Four cooks face baskets of mystery ingredients and the clock as they prepare appetizer, entree, and then dessert.  One cook is eliminated in each round, until eventually a winner is named.

I haven't been able to get this particular episode out of my mind. The episode I'm referring to involved teen chefs as the competitors, which in itself is pretty impressive.  And all four of them appeared to be very good cooks.  But one of the competitors, a barely 13-year old boy who was the eventual winner of the competition, is the one who stands out in my memory.  Not because of his cooking ability, but because of his vocabulary.  Or lack thereof.

You see, nearly every sentence out of his mouth began or ended with the phrase "oh my g....".  And that offended me more than words can express.
Let me hasten to add that I am  offended every time I hear that phrase uttered.  But I am bothered most when it comes from the mouths of children.  And yes, 13 years old still qualifies in my mind as a child.  Certainly not an adult.

As this young man continued to let this phrase roll so easily off his tongue, I couldn't help but wonder what we are teaching our children.  Obviously someone somewhere along the way has taught him how to cook.  And that's a good thing.  But what have they taught him about right and wrong.  About values.  About the Lord.

Here in this country we've raised up a generation of people who can utter this phrase as easily as they can order a burger at McDonalds.  A generation who knows all about how to post selfies to every social media imaginable.  Who can tell you all about this celebrity or that athlete.

But we have raised up a generation in this country who, with few exceptions, can't cook a meal or balance a budget or keep a clean house.

Far, far more importantly we have failed to teach them about the things that matter.  And that makes me unbelievably sad.

"You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.  And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart.  You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise."  (Deuteronomy 6:5-7 ESV, emphasis mine)

White as Snow

"Come now, let us reason together, says the LORD: though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow."  (Isaiah 1:18 ESV)

The Things We Take for Granted

I came home from Israel sick.  Bronchitis, sinus infection, both ears infected.  Antibiotics cleared up the infection pretty quickly, but the ear problems are lingering.  As I write I still can't hear normally.  My ears are still "plugged up".

I'm told I should just be patient.  Just wait it out.

I may have mentioned before that I'm not a particularly patient person.  It's frustrating.

We take our hearing for granted, don't we?  We just assume that when we get up in the morning we'll be able to hear what is being said to us.

That hasn't been the case for me for more than a week now.  And I don't like it!

But it has caused me to think about just how many things in life we take for granted.  About how seldom we say Thank you, Lord, that I can hear.  Or Thank you, Lord, that I can see.  Or Thank you, Lord, that I have a roof over my head and heat and food and water........

We take a lot for granted.  We just assume that what we need (or want) will be there when we need (or want) it.  We too often forget to say thank you.

Shame on us.  Shame on me.

"Bless the LORD, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name!  Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits."  (Psalm 103:1-2 ESV, emphasis mine)

In a Way that Matters

A member of our church died last week.  That in itself is not particularly unusual.  I'm a member of a very large church, and I would venture to say that hardly a week goes by without death affecting us in some way.  But we were particularly affected when this man died.

I didn't know him personally, although many of my friends did.  This man had been a very active member of our church for many years.  We have only been attending there for a couple of years, and in a church as large as ours, it's impossible to get to know everybody.  But this is one person I wish I had had the opportunity to know.

In the days since his passing, I've heard countless stories about him, about the way he lived his life, about how he loved his family and his church and his Lord.  Truly he was a person who lived his life in a way that mattered.

Today would have been my daddy's 93rd birthday.  He too was a person who lived his life in a way that mattered.  Who loved his family and his church and his Lord.  Who loved people.  Who lived for Jesus.

That's the essence, really, of living in a way that matters.  It isn't about setting records on the football field or writing a best seller or being a celebrity chef or finding a cure for some dreaded disease.  Although there's nothing inherently wrong with any of those things.

But living in a way that matters is more than that.  Living in a way that matters is being willing to stand firm for Jesus in the midst of a culture that increasingly is turning away from Him.  Living for Jesus is living a life of prayer.  And a life of Bible study.  It's living a life that loves people as Jesus loved them, not because they've done something to deserve being loved. Living in a way that matters is living a life that says for me to live is Christ and to die is gain.

That's the kind of life the man from our church lived.  That's the kind of life my daddy lived.  That's the kind of life I want to live.


"If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your mind on things above, not on things on earth."  (Colossians 3:1-2, ESV, emphasis mine)

In Context

Any serious student of the Bible understands about context.  Context is the key to accurate interpretation of any Biblical passage.  Context is king.  Context rules.  However you say it, context matters.

There is, of course, grammatical context. And there's geographical context.  And historical context.  All these are important in correctly understanding the Scriptures.

All this is one of the reasons I love traveling to Israel.  You may be wondering what that has to do with context.  Everything!  To travel to Israel is to experience the context of the Bible!

Earlier this week my Bible reading took me to Genesis 13-18, to the story of Abraham, where I read this verse:  "So Abram moved his tent and came and settled by the oaks of Mamre, which are at Hebron."  Genesis 13:18 ESV)

Immediately I was back in Israel.  Back in Hebron.  Back at the Oak of Mamre.

We sat in a field nearby this 5000-year old tree and were taught by our pastor from these very chapters.  We sat where Abraham lived.  Where Isaac's birth was promised.  Where God made covenant with Abraham.  Truly the pages of Scripture come to life when you are standing in the very place where the events happened!  This is what it means to experience the Bible in context.

What do we know about Abraham?  We know that he believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness.  We know that he obeyed God.  We know that he was willing to sacrifice even that which was most precious to him if that was what the Lord required. 

What does that have to do with you and me?  I believe God expects no less of us today than He did of Abraham then:  to believe, to obey, to trust.

How are you doing in those areas?  Something to think about.

By the way, concerning this Oak of Mamre, local tradition says that when the tree dies, it is signaling the end of days.  You can draw your own conclusion, but I think that tree looks pretty dead!

"It is my eager expectation and hope that I will not be at all ashamed but that with full courage now as always Christ will be honored in my body, whether by life or by death.  For me to live is Christ, and to die is gain."  (Philippians 1;20-21 ESV)

Home Sweet Home!

It's good to be home!  We returned on Friday afternoon from two absolutely amazing weeks in the Holy Land.  In fact, this may be my favorite of our trips there.  I'm still trying to process all that we saw and experienced.

It was good to get home.  To sleep in my own bed with my own pillow.  To have my own hair dryer.  To eat bacon!

We didn't bring home as many souvenirs this trip.  Maybe that's because we've been there before.  Maybe it's because we really loaded up on "stuff" last year.

But I did bring two significant "souvenirs" home with me.  A severe case of jet lag, and a really nasty cold.  And so the unpacking and the photo-posting and the blogging about the trip will have to wait a little while.  My brain just can't seem to get wrapped around anything right now.  I'm seeing a doctor later today (for a routine, unrelated matter), and I'm hoping she can help me get some relief.  I'm tired of coughing and sneezing.  I'm tired of not being able to hear.  Can you tell I don't do "sick" very well???!!!!

I'm looking forward to sharing with you about my experiences over the last two amazing weeks.  But that will have to wait just a little longer.

In the meantime, I'm making this my prayer for the week.  Perhaps you'd like to make it yours as well.

"Teach me your way, O LORD, that I may walk in your truth; unite my heart to fear your name.  I give thanks to you, O Lord my God, with my whole heart, and I will glorify your name forever.  For great is your steadfast love toward me."  (Psalm 86:11-13a ESV)