Fading Starlight. A Book Review.

fading starlight by Kathryn Cushman is the first of Cushman's works that I have read, and I found it delightful.  This is a tale of disappointments and new beginnings and unlikely friendships.  If this is indicative of Cushman's work, I'll be looking for other of her novels to read.

fading starlight is first of all the story of Lauren Summers, an up-and-coming fashion designer working as an intern in a major design house in Hollywood.  Her first experience on the red carpet ends up in disaster, and with her reputation in shambles, she finds herself unemployed and looking for a place to live.  An opportunity to design costumes for a high school theater production takes her out of Hollywood and to a very secluded neighborhood on the Pacific Coast north of Los Angeles.

This turn of events in Lauren's life introduces the second major character, Charlotte Montgomery, a former Hollywood starlet turned recluse who lives in the mansion across the way from Lauren's cottage.

Add into this mix a manipulative Hollywood reporter, a money-grubbing niece, and just a hint of a romance to come, and you have a well-written storyline with a bit of mystery, some struggles with ethical issues, and a developing spiritual journey.  This is contemporary Christian fiction at its finest, and I loved it. 

I received a copy of fading starlight from Bethany House Publishing in exchange for my honest opinion.

Last Words

In recent years, Mother's Day has been a mixed bag for me.  I miss my own mother.  I rarely get to spend time with my own sons on this day, one of the consequences of the fact that we live so far from each other.  Mother's Day has become a time for me to travel down memory lane, which results in lots of smiles and some tears as well.

One memory that always surfaces at this time of year is hearing the doctor say that we would never have children.  I remember the Mother's Days when I so wanted to be a mom and it seemed that would never happen.  That's a painful memory, but one that is more than balanced by the fact that obviously the doctor was wrong and God had another plan.  Two plans! Two sons!  The joy I felt when that same doctor told me the pregnancy test was positive has never diminished!

Motherhood is not an easy job.  And I haven't always been a candidate for "world's best mother".  I've made my share of mistakes. Perhaps more than my share.  Bad decisions.  Lost my temper.  Said things I have regretted.  But through it all, I have loved being a mother.  I love my sons.  And the daughters they brought into my life.  And the grandsons who now bring us all so much joy!

As I travel down memory lane at this time of year, there are so many things that make me smile.  Sometimes even giggle a little bit.

I smile when I think of hearing I love you, Mom, no matter what day of the year it is.

I giggle when I remember the poor hamster named Roscoe who met an untimely end when Brian jumped off the top bunk and landed on him.

I remember the big bows my mother always put in my blonde curls. And there were the sweet smiles and hugs of my own little blonde boys (who aren't so blonde anymore!!).

I remember Baby Dedication services for our sons and our grandsons.  Violin lessons and soccer games.  Long distance calls from England when Brian was stationed there during his Air Force years.

And I remember the last words my own mother spoke to me.  We knew her time was short.  We left Minnesota, flying down to SC, hoping we would get there in time.  We arrived on Saturday around midnight.  She left us on Monday morning.  But on that Saturday night when we got there, she opened her eyes, smiled a faint smile and said the last words I ever heard her say.

"I love you."

Those words are a treasured memory.  And a reminder.  We should never miss an opportunity to speak those words to those we love. Because we never know if we will have another opportunity.


"Love one another; just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another." 
(John 13:34 ESV)

Some Thoughts About Mother's Day

Today I'm thinking about Mother's Day. Thinking about my mother and about her mother, two of the women I admired most in all the world!  How I miss them both!  Each time I think of them, some verses from Proverbs 31 come to mind:

"Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she smiles at the future.  She opens her mouth in wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.  She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.  Her children rise up and bless her; her husband also, and he praises her."  (Proverbs 31:25-28 NASB)

Today as I think about Mother's Day, I'm celebrating! I'm remembering my mother and my grandmother and celebrating wonderful memories. I'm celebrating the joy of being a mother and a grandmother. I'm so thankful for the blessing of my sons, the sons God gave me, the ones the doctors said I would never have. I'm loving my role as Nana, being grandmother to two precious little boys that bring me so much joy! I'm celebrating the mothers of those little boys, the daughters who came into my life because they are the women my sons chose, the women who love my sons. I celebrate the joy they each bring to our family, their unique personalities and gifts, and the blessing they are to all of us.

Mostly I celebrate that my mother and my grandmother, and the countless grandmothers before them that I never knew, as well as those daughters who are now part of my life, all love the Lord and His Word, and I celebrate the commitment of each of those women to teach His Word and His ways diligently. I celebrate our commitment to have families who love Jesus. I celebrate our desire to honor Him in all we do and say.

My prayer for us today is that we be found faithful. There's a song called "Find Us Faithful" that talks about this concept: May all who come behind us find us faithful, may the fire of our devotion light their way, may the footprints that we leave lead them to believe.*

I'm thankful today for the women who went before me who were found faithful, who left those kind of footprints. I'm prayerful today that I will be found faithful, that the fire of my devotion will light the way for those who come behind me. I'm prayerful that I will love the Lord with ALL my heart and soul and mind. That my love will be evidenced in my behavior. That I will leave for my sons and my daughters and my grandsons, and all who follow behind me, a legacy of that kind of devotion to the Lord. That I will teach that diligently to my children and my grandchildren. That my sons and daughters will teach those things diligently to their children. I'm celebrating today what God will do in and through us when we commit ourselves completely to Him.

And I am so thankful that I had a Mother and a Grandmother who modeled that kind of love and devotion.

 

L-R, my great-grandmother, Leona Harwell Knox; my mother, Helen Neil Austin, me, and my grandmother, Ethel Knox Neil


"Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised."  (Proverbs 31:30 NASB)


*Find Us Faithful: words and music by Jon Mohr

He Was Right

"Never, never, never give up." - Winston Churchill

When we lived in the mountains, we had very large pyracantha bush at the end of our front porch.  A couple of years ago, when the landscape crew came in the spring to see what needed to be done to spruce our yard up after a long, hard winter, I told them to cut that pyracantha bush down because it was dead.

That was on a Wednesday.  When the crew came to do the work on Saturday, just a few days later, there were green leaves on that bush.  I had given up on that bush too soon.

Day after day, that plant grew a little greener, and it wasn't the only one.  In that particular spring, the plants were just taking longer than normal to come out of their winter hibernation.  Who could blame them after the winter we had that year! 

 

Winston Churchill was right. The Holy Spirit reminded me of that yesterday. 

 

After my physical therapy session yesterday, I was frustrated.  It was a good session.  I'm able to do much more than I could even a week ago.  I'm getting stronger.  But my knee still won't bend consistently beyond 100 degrees no matter how hard I try and no matter how much I will it to do so.  And that frustrates me.  I've said often before that I'm not a particularly patient person, and that's certainly true with this recovery.  My therapist says I'm being too hard on myself.  She says I'm doing well and I shouldn't get so frustrated.  If she had quoted Winston Churchill in her little pep talk yesterday, I probably would have laughed out loud!

 

What Caitlin was saying to me yesterday was the same thing Churchill said all those years ago:  Don't give up.

 

I gave up too soon on my plants. I've been much too quick to give up on myself during this rehab process.  

 

The message to my frustrated and impatient self is not to give up on this or any other things too soon.  God's timing is always perfect.  He is never early.  Never late.  Always right on time.

 

Churchill was right.

 

 "Never, never, never give up."

 

 
"He hath made everything beautiful in his time."  (Ecclesiastes 3:11 KJV, emphasis mine)

Morning Praise

"I will lift up my eyes to the mountains; from where shall my help come?  My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth."  (Psalm 121:1-2 NASB)

Thankful Tuesday. Let's Make a List.

"Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens,

Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens......

These are a few of my favorite things."*

 

 

If you're a fan of The Sound of Music, those are familiar lyrics.  Even if you're not particularly a Sound of Music fan, the lyrics are probably at least vaguely familiar.

 

These days it seems the world is just falling apart.  It's hard to find any good news to talk about any more.  If we let it, all the gloom and doom that is part of our world can really drag us down.

 

Today seems like a good day for a change of focus.  I don't know how things are where you are today, but here in the Upstate of South Carolina, it's a little cloudy.  I had a challenging physical therapy session yesterday, which leaves me a little sore and achy today.  I could find all sorts of reasons for complaining if I really tried.  And I wouldn't have to try all that hard!

 

Instead, I'm choosing to focus my attention elsewhere.  To be thankful.  To make a list of a "few of my favorite things."  Using the song as a starting point, here's my list:

 

• Raindrops on roses.  I love roses.  And hydrangeas.  And gardenias.  And daisies.  And I love to see raindrops on those roses. It makes me happy.
• The next line of the song doesn't really make my list.  I'm not a fan of kittens or their whiskers.  Kittens grow up to be cats, and I'm really more a dog person than a cat person.  Whiskers on puppies.  That I can get excited about!
• Bright copper kettles.  I love copper pots of all shapes and sizes.
• Warm woolen mittens.  Again, as with the whiskers on kittens, I'm not a fan.  Mittens, yes.  Woolen mittens, not so much.
• Coffee.  Hot, strong, black coffee.  That definitely is on my favorites list.
• Friends.  Especially friends who drive me to therapy when Al is out of town, and then take me out to lunch after.  Definitely thankful!
• My physical therapist.  I think I have mentioned before that I have the world's best therapist.  She's amazing and encouraging.  She pushes me beyond where I thought I could go.  She challenges me.  She encourages me.  And all with a really compassionate heart.  Love her!
• My ice machine.  A few weeks ago I never would have believed that I would be so thankful for this little machine, and now I wonder how I would have managed without it!
• Books.  Big books.  Little books.  E-books.  All books.  I love books.  I love to read.  It's one of the great pleasures of my life!
• The smell of rain.
• The smell of freshly mown grass.
• A big juicy steak.
• Pimento cheese, homemade by my husband.  The best there is!  (The husband AND the pimento cheese!)
• Strawberries
• Peaches
• Pancakes
• The beach

These are a few of my favorite things.  On this Thankful Tuesday, I'm thankful for these things and for so much more.  This only scratches the surface.

 

What's on your list today?

 

"Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body; and be thankful."  (Colossians 3:15 NASB)

 

 

*My Favorite Things - songwriters:  Oscar Hammerstein and Richard Rodgers

 



Diary of a Knee Replacement. Pressing On.

Five weeks have now passed since I said good-bye to my old knee and hello to the new one.  In some ways, it seems hard to believe five weeks have already gone by.  At the same time, it sometimes seems like much longer.

I have come to the point in this process where frustration is rearing its ugly head.  I'm at the point where my life seems to be nothing more than physical therapy sessions and ice machines, and I'm growing weary of it all.  I'm just being honest here.  Some days are worse than others, but I often find myself wishing I could back up to about six weeks ago and just call the whole thing off!  In my head, I know that this will all be worth it.  Eventually.  But in my feelings, I'm not there yet.

Even so, I press on.  I know I'm making progress, although sometimes it seems very slow.  I know I'm able to do things for myself that I couldn't do just a couple of weeks ago.  On Thursday, Al dropped me off at the hair salon for some much needed personal maintenance.  Afterwards, we went out for lunch and then to Costco, where I pushed the cart myself all around the store.  A couple of weeks ago, I wouldn't have been able to manage any of that.  On Saturday, I went with Al to Publix where once again I pushed the cart all around the store myself.  That may not seem like a big deal to those of you with two good knees, but trust me.  It's a big deal to me.  And it's evidence that I am, in fact, making progress.

I'm beginning to do a few more household tasks, like folding laundry and dusting.  I no longer fall asleep every time I sit still for more than five minutes.  I'm sleeping better at night.  We have been out to dinner a few times.  My leg is getting stronger and bending better.  More evidence that I'm making progress.  Baby steps, but progress nonetheless.

Even so, it's a long and often frustrating process.  This morning I have yet another physical therapy appointment.  I'll ride the exercise bike for 10 or 15 minutes.  I'll do some squats.  The therapist will work on the scar tissue around my knee cap.  There will be more exercises.  Then we'll see how much I can bend today and take another measurement.  None of that will be fun, but it's all part of the process.

Just like life.  It's a process.  And it isn't always pretty or fun.  It's often frustrating and tedious. 

But the end result is worth it.



"Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do:
forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus."  (Philippians 3:13-14, NASB)