How are Your Communication Skills?

Have you ever had the experience of a phone conversation, or perhaps a visit, where one of the parties obviously didn't want to be there?

Maybe you're a parent or a grandparent receiving the obligatory phone call for your birthday or some other special occasion. What if the person on the other end of the line just mumbles or yawns or just says the same stilted sentences that they have always said, and says them over and over? How would that make you feel? Would that make you feel loved? Or special? Probably not.

Maybe you're a parent or a grandparent with grown children. How often are they in touch with you?  Every day? Or maybe once a week? Or less often? Are they only in touch when they need something?  How does that make you feel? Does it make you feel loved? Or special? Probably not.

Have you ever thought about how often we approach our time with God that very same way? As an obligation to be checked off our list for the day. Or we're only in touch when we need something or have a problem. How do you think that makes God feel? If, as an earthly parent, that approach would leave you feeling unloved or unnecessary, how much more must the heart of our Heavenly Father be grieved to be treated that way. What does that approach say about the genuiness of our relationship with our Heavenly Father?

What is your communication with God really like? Do you just rattle through, as though on "speed talk"?  Do you only communicate with God when you need something? When there's a problem in your life that you can't quite solve on your own? Do you come to God with the same well-worn phrases or the same "laundry list" of prayer requests? With the same spiritual-sounding, but perhaps meaningless to you, phrases that you heard somebody else say? Do you rattle off the same words in the same order every time?

Is that a genuine communication? Or would that perhaps qualify as "vain repetition"?  (See Matthew 6:7 KJV)

What is genuine communication? How would you describe that?

Think again about your communication with your parents or perhaps your grandparents. How would you describe that? Is it regular, perhaps even daily? Do you find it necessary to be very careful as you speak to them and use only certain prescribed sentences, or can you be open and honest, saying whatever is on your heart and mind? Do you communicate with them only when you want something or because they can give you something, or do you talk to them simply because you love them?

I think that we can agree that the essence of genuine communication is that we are open and honest. That we don't need a reason to talk with those we love. That we enjoy talking with those we love. That we miss those conversations when they don't occur. And if that is true in our human relationships, is it not even more true in our relationship with the Lord? If we truly love Him as we say we do, will we not want to be in communication with Him. Will we not want to talk to Him? Will we not miss those conversations when they don't occur? Will our communication with Him - our prayer life - not be much more than just asking for things?  

Why do we communicate with the Lord anyway? Is it because we love Him? Or because we want what He can give us? Why do we love Him? Is it because of what He does for us or what He gives to us? Or is it simply because of Who He is!!

There's another side of communication. Communication is more than just talking. Communication involves listening.

One of our sons went into the Air Force right after high school. Following basic training and tech school, he was assigned to a base in another country. Back in those days, we didn't have cell phones or Skype or FaceTime. We received long-distance phone calls and heard a very British voice saying, "Collect call from the United Kingdom. Will you pay?" The answer was, of course, always "yes"! I looked forward to those phone calls, but I was sometimes frustrated when Brian called home because he didn't say much. I finally realized that the reason for the call was not so much because he had a lot to tell us, but was more because he wanted to hear a familiar voice, to hear the sounds of home.

Prayer is like that. It's not always about talking. Sometimes it's about listening. It's about hearing from our heavenly home. About hearing what our Father has to say to us.

Many of us may need to work on our communication skills a little bit. In this era of cell phones and internet and texting and FaceTime, there's really no excuse for not staying in touch with our family and our friends. We can always find time and a method for communicating with those we love. Sometimes it's a lengthy conversation. Sometimes there are challenging issues that need to be discussed. Sometimes it's just a quick "hi, just checking in to say I love you." Whatever it is, it's important to communicate with those we love.

How much more important to communicate with the One who loves us most. Not to only communicate with our Heavenly Father when we need something or when we have challenging issues to deal with. But to talk with Him - and listen to Him - on a regular basis.

When Jesus taught His disciples about prayer, He didn't say "if" you pray......He said "when" you pray.  Regular communication is an important part of our lives. With our earthly families. And even more so with our Heavenly Father.

Regular communication is necessary to maintain any relationship. It's one of the ways we express our love for family and friends, and for our Lord. By staying in touch. By talking regularly. By listening.

That's what communication is all about. How well are you communicating with those you love?

"And when you pray, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do, for they think they will be heard for their many words.  Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.  Pray then like this:
Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name......"  (Matthew 6:7-9 ESV)

"Pray without ceasing."  (1 Thessalonians 5:17 ESV)