Learning to Say "No"

Do you like roller coasters? I do not. All the up and down, curving this way and that, is not anything that I would even remotely consider "fun".


Earlier this week I heard someone refer to the last six months as a "corona-coaster". Full disclosure - I don't remember who said it or where I heard it, so I can't give credit. But that description has stuck with me. The ups and downs, the stops and starts, of the last several months have been very much like a roller coaster. And I don't know about you, but I have not particularly enjoyed the ride!


What does all that have to do with learning to say "no"?


In every day of every season of life we are faced with choices and demands and errands and appointments and decisions. The season we are now in is no different. Except that the "corona-coaster" makes everything about life just a bit more challenging. A bit more stressful. A bit more frustrating. As we have moved into the back-to-school season, which looks a lot different than it ever has before, and as the fall season is just around the corner, and as the political season is in full swing, we have even more things we need to say "yes" or "no" to.


In this season, perhaps more than ever, we need to be careful what we say "yes" to. This is a good time to learn to say "no".

• "No" to the compulsion to respond to ever Facebook or Twitter post. In fact, this might be a good time to limit social media. As someone once said, you don't have to attend every argument you are invited to. And if you do decide to enter into a dialogue or make a post, think before you speak. Use the P48 test. Is it true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, of good repute, excellent, praiseworthy? Beyond that, is it necessary? If not, then say "no".
• "No" to arguing.
• "No" to belittling others just because you don't agree.
• "No" to name-calling.

The list could go on.


Learning to say "no" is a byproduct of learning to say "yes". Learning to say "yes" comes from learning to listen to God. Making decisions based on His plan and purpose. Not my plan. Not my friend's plan. Not my church's plan. Not the culture's plan. Not the politician's plan. Not any plan other than God's plan for me and my life.


Following God's plan and purposes involve taking time to discern what those are. Taking time to listen to God. He wants us to know His will, and He will use the Holy Spirit to communicate that to us. We just need to be listening. Paying attention. And we can't do that very well if we are so busy with everything that comes our way. If we are so busy with social media and politics and every other thing that we have no time to be still and listen.


How can you and I most effectively serve Him? How can you and I most effectively use our time for His glory? These are important questions to be asking as we are trying to make decisions about how we spend our time and how we fill our schedules and how we determine when to say "yes" and when to say "no".


Tune out the voices of the culture and social media. Learn to listen. Listen to God. That's the first step in learning to say "no".


Don't be afraid. That's an important step. When God tells you to do something, you definitely better be about doing it! But when He tells you "no", you better be about that "no" to whoever and whatever is trying to get your attention.


It's ok to say "no" sometimes. Obey God. Leave all the consequences to Him.*


"So teach us to number our days, that we may present to You a heart of wisdom." (Psalm 90:12 NASB)




*Dr. Charles Stanley, Life Principle #2