Chapman's basic premise is that we can't communicate with each other if we aren't speaking the same language. No matter how much a wife might love her husband, or the husband might love his wife, if they aren't speaking the same language, it's difficult to convey that love. Chapman gives us five love languages: gifts, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, and words of affirmation. The idea is that if I express my love for my spouse or my children using my love language, and they speak a different love language, they will not feel loved in the same way as if I expressed my love using their language. That's a very simplified explanation, but you get the idea.
When I first became aware of Chapman's book a number of years ago, I would have told you that my love language was gifts. All the assessments I took confirmed that.
I love giving gifts to people I love as a way to let them know I love them. And I love receiving gifts! When I am given a gift chosen especially for me, I feel loved.
But as I'm growing older, I'm not quite as certain that gifts is still my primary love language. Certainly I still love giving and receiving gifts, but as I grow older, time is the thing that means most to me. Being able to spend quality time with people I love makes me feel loved and special.
Face to face time. Or time in a phone conversation. Time for coffee together. Time. It means more and more to me as I continue my journey through life.
As I have been thinking about that over the last few days, it occurs to me to wonder if God might say the same thing.
Please understand. I'm not trying to be flippant or blasphemous or disrespectful. But if God were to speak audibly to us and tell us how He would most like us to express our love for Him, I wonder what He would say. I'm sure He appreciates all the acts of service we do on His behalf, and all the wonderful words we say about Him. But I think that if these five love languages were to apply to our relationship with God, what He might like most is our time.
Not just time spent in doing good works or acts of service or witnessing. But some quality time spent with Him alone.
In this hurried, harried, crazy world we live in, are we giving Him that? Are we going through the motions, or are we really spending quality time with the One we love?
If we were to ask Him how we're doing, what would He say?
Something to think about.
I miss my time with you,
those moments together.
I need to be with you each day
and it hurts Me when you say
you're too busy.
Busy trying to serve Me,
but how can you serve Me
when your spirit's empty?
There's a longing in My heart,
wanting more than just a part of you.
It's true,
I miss my time with you.
(Larnelle Harris, Phil McHugh)
You can listen to Larnelle Harris sing that song here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_UpMedIINdg
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