People sometimes ask how my life has changed since my stroke. What have I learned through this experience. That isn't an easy question to answer. Perhaps the biggest lesson I am continuing to learn is that stroke recovery is a process. A long, infuriating, complicated process.
In this process, some days are good and some not so much. Some days start out good and then switch gears for no apparent reason. I'm learning in this process that I need a lot of sleep. That everything things a lot longer than I think it will. That I'm forgetful. That I mix words up. That I still can't do numbers. That many of the things I once loved to do are still out of my reach, at least some of the time. And I'm learning that all of that is OK. I'm learning to take this process one step at a time. A few steps forward and a few steps back, but still ultimately moving forward toward recovery. I'm learning not to sweat the small stuff.
In my former life as a perfectionist, even the least little thing really mattered to me. Misspelled words. Grammatical errors. Etc. Etc.
I still think its important to spell things correctly and to write a well constructed sentence. I still get annoyed when words are misspelled, particularly by people who should know better. And I am most annoyed when those who are pointing fingers at others are, in fact, making worse grammatical errors than the ones they are criticizing.
But here in my "new normal", those things aren't nearly as important as they once were. Yes, I still want to spell thing correctly and punctuate my sentences properly. But the reality is, I don't always do that.
Sometimes I just hit the wrong key and don't catch myself. Sometimes I can't remember how a word is spelled. Sometimes I just don't even know I made a mistake. All those are reality for me in my "new normal". And I am learning that those things are ok. The world won't come to an end if I misspell something or if I get a word wrong.
My "new normal" means that I can't do the same things I once took for granted. Those things frustrate me, but I'm learning to live with the limitations of my stroke. I'm learning to accept that I won't always get things exactly right. That sometimes I will misspell or missspeak. That sometimes I won't remember what I'm trying to say.
But I am also learned something much more important. I've learned to be more tolerant. Of myself and of others. And that's a good thing.
Is stroke recovery a frustrating process? Sure it is!
In spite of the frustrations, in this journey to stroke recovery I am learning some very valuable life lessons. I am learning to listen to my body when I need more sleep. I'm learning that my mission in life is not to impress other people. That it's ok to acknowledge my frustrations and my disabilities.
Most of all, I'm learning more and more about trusting God. About relying on Him to meet my needs.
And I'm learning to be thankful in every circumstance. On the good days and the bad days and all the in between days.
Learning to trust more and more.
Learning to take one day at a time.
And resting in the knowledge that God is in control.
Those are the things that really matter.
"In everything give thanks, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."
(I Thessalonians 5:18 NASB)
Monday, February 27, 2017
Friday, February 24, 2017
The Innkeeper of Ivy Hill. A Book Review.
Set in a fictional English village called Ivy Hill where the coaching village, The Bell, is the lifeblood of the village, the story begins with the inn in disarray. The innkeeper has died, leaving behind a large sum of money owed to the bank and his widow having no idea how to manage the inn in his place. The story is complicated by the strained relationship between the widow and her mother-in-law.
I wanted to enjoy this book. Particularly since this was my first attempt at reading a full book since my stroke, I wanted this to be a pleasant experience. Having enjoyed all the previous books I had read by Julie Klassen, that was what I expected.
Instead, I found myself very disappointed. The characters were not interesting. The dialogue was stilted, and the writing was overdone. This was a book where, far too often, ten words were used when two would have been sufficient! This was a very tedious experience. To be blunt, I was bored.
I had looked forward to reading this book. I wanted to enjoy it. Unfortunately, I was very disappointed, and I cannot recommend it.
I received a free copy of The Innkeeper of Ivy Hill from Bethany House Publishing in exchange for my honest opinion.
Monday, February 20, 2017
Nothing Is Impossible!
"For nothing will be impossible with God." (Luke 1:13 NASB)
Yesterday was a banner day in my journey to stroke recovery. Yesterday I was so blessed and thankful to be able to once again lead our Life Group bible study. I am a blessed woman indeed!
We were studying yesterday in the Old Testament book of Ruth. We spent a lot of our time yesterday talking about Naomi. If you haven't read it lately, take some time to read Ruth chapter 1. Naomi's story is a sad story. There was a famine. They had no food so Naomi and her family had to relocate to a foreign country. While they were living in the foreign country, her husband died. Then both her sons died. It's a really sad story.
But God made a way for Naomi. God provided exactly what Naomi needed.
Just as God has provided everything I have needed to get through the challenges I have been facing in stroke recovery.
Your story may not be exactly like Naomi's story. Or exactly like my story. But you have a story. Each of us has challenges and trials and difficult circumstances to deal with. We all have a story. We all have "stuff" to deal with.
God provided everything Naomi needed to deal with the challenges of her life. He has provided everything I have needed to face the challenges of my life.
And He is able to do the same for you.
Because nothing is impossible with God!
"Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen"
Yesterday was a banner day in my journey to stroke recovery. Yesterday I was so blessed and thankful to be able to once again lead our Life Group bible study. I am a blessed woman indeed!
We were studying yesterday in the Old Testament book of Ruth. We spent a lot of our time yesterday talking about Naomi. If you haven't read it lately, take some time to read Ruth chapter 1. Naomi's story is a sad story. There was a famine. They had no food so Naomi and her family had to relocate to a foreign country. While they were living in the foreign country, her husband died. Then both her sons died. It's a really sad story.
But God made a way for Naomi. God provided exactly what Naomi needed.
Just as God has provided everything I have needed to get through the challenges I have been facing in stroke recovery.
Your story may not be exactly like Naomi's story. Or exactly like my story. But you have a story. Each of us has challenges and trials and difficult circumstances to deal with. We all have a story. We all have "stuff" to deal with.
God provided everything Naomi needed to deal with the challenges of her life. He has provided everything I have needed to face the challenges of my life.
And He is able to do the same for you.
Because nothing is impossible with God!
"Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen"
Monday, February 13, 2017
Happy!
My, how time flies! This week, on Wednesday, we will mark the three-month anniversary since my stroke. In many ways, it seems much longer than that,
yet I realize that this is really a very short time.
In this last week, I have achieved several significant accomplishments. For one thing, I baked a cake. From scratch! I had baked a couple of things in rehab, from a box mix. And I had another baking assignment when I began outpatient therapy, again using a box mix. But this week I baked a cake from scratch, using a recipe I had found on Pinterest. According to Pinterest, this is the World's Best Banana Cake recipe. I think that's a bit of a stretch, since I didn't really think it was all that good and certainly not good enough to justify all the effort, but I did it!
The hardest part of the cake-baking endeavor was assembling the ingredients! Anything to do with numbers is still a really big challenge for me, so it took quite a while to check and double-check the ingredients list, but I was pretty proud of myself when it was finished!
This past week I've been walking longer distances and also working out at the gym. All this is helping me to get my strength back, and that is a really good feeling!
My reading is continuing to improve, although I confess it is still slower than I would like. My therapist is pleased with my progress and is very encouraging about prospects for my continued recovery. I have begun reading a novel, which is going much more slowly than it did in the past, but I am able to read, which makes me very happy. And I am even happier that I will resume teaching in our life group next week. Being able to do what I love to do makes me very happy indeed!
I have heard a number of different responses over the last several weeks as I have been getting out and about. You're looking good. Or You're doing well. Or You look great!
The response I love is You look so happy! Because I am!
Stroke recovery is a process. A long, challenging process. Some days are getter than others. Even in this last week, which was a very good week, there were days that were really challenging. But through all that, the good days and the challenging days, I am happy!
God has been so good to me! I am a very blessed woman, and so very grateful for how God has brought me through this very challenging time. There are good days, and challenging days, and all the in between days. But through it all, God is good.
And I me happy indeed!
yet I realize that this is really a very short time.
In this last week, I have achieved several significant accomplishments. For one thing, I baked a cake. From scratch! I had baked a couple of things in rehab, from a box mix. And I had another baking assignment when I began outpatient therapy, again using a box mix. But this week I baked a cake from scratch, using a recipe I had found on Pinterest. According to Pinterest, this is the World's Best Banana Cake recipe. I think that's a bit of a stretch, since I didn't really think it was all that good and certainly not good enough to justify all the effort, but I did it!
The hardest part of the cake-baking endeavor was assembling the ingredients! Anything to do with numbers is still a really big challenge for me, so it took quite a while to check and double-check the ingredients list, but I was pretty proud of myself when it was finished!
This past week I've been walking longer distances and also working out at the gym. All this is helping me to get my strength back, and that is a really good feeling!
My reading is continuing to improve, although I confess it is still slower than I would like. My therapist is pleased with my progress and is very encouraging about prospects for my continued recovery. I have begun reading a novel, which is going much more slowly than it did in the past, but I am able to read, which makes me very happy. And I am even happier that I will resume teaching in our life group next week. Being able to do what I love to do makes me very happy indeed!
I have heard a number of different responses over the last several weeks as I have been getting out and about. You're looking good. Or You're doing well. Or You look great!
The response I love is You look so happy! Because I am!
Stroke recovery is a process. A long, challenging process. Some days are getter than others. Even in this last week, which was a very good week, there were days that were really challenging. But through all that, the good days and the challenging days, I am happy!
God has been so good to me! I am a very blessed woman, and so very grateful for how God has brought me through this very challenging time. There are good days, and challenging days, and all the in between days. But through it all, God is good.
And I me happy indeed!
Wednesday, February 8, 2017
Trust Him
"And my God will supply all your need according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:19 NASB)
On this day, 12 weeks ago, life was normal. And then it wasn't. Since that day, 12 weeks ago when I had a stroke and my "normal" was forever changed, God has been writing this word on my heart.
In these weeks, God has planted these words time and again on my heart. While I was struggling through the early days of Physical Therapy. When I couldn't remember my room number or I was struggling to learn my name and address. When I needed help getting dressed in the morning. When I was relearning all the daily tasks that would make me feel "normal" again.
In all of my need, in every struggle, God was there to say I will supply what you need. In every moment of this journey, God has been there to say I've got this. Trust me.
And He will do the same for you.
You may not have had a stroke. You may have a different illness. Or a profound grief. You may be struggling through a relationship. There may be misunderstandings or deep hurt because of what someone said. Or didn't say.
Whatever your need, My God is able to supply all your need according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.
Trust Him.
On this day, 12 weeks ago, life was normal. And then it wasn't. Since that day, 12 weeks ago when I had a stroke and my "normal" was forever changed, God has been writing this word on my heart.
In these weeks, God has planted these words time and again on my heart. While I was struggling through the early days of Physical Therapy. When I couldn't remember my room number or I was struggling to learn my name and address. When I needed help getting dressed in the morning. When I was relearning all the daily tasks that would make me feel "normal" again.
In all of my need, in every struggle, God was there to say I will supply what you need. In every moment of this journey, God has been there to say I've got this. Trust me.
And He will do the same for you.
You may not have had a stroke. You may have a different illness. Or a profound grief. You may be struggling through a relationship. There may be misunderstandings or deep hurt because of what someone said. Or didn't say.
Whatever your need, My God is able to supply all your need according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.
Trust Him.
Monday, February 6, 2017
Encourage One Another
"Therefore encourage one another." (1 Thessalonians 4:18)
We all need some encouragement from time to time. Wouldn't you agree?
There was a big football game yesterday. Some people are thrilled with the outcome and others are wondering what happened! That second group could probably use some encouragement this morning.
I've been thinking a lot about encouragement over the last few days. Countless numbers of people have encouraged me in these weeks of stroke recovery. One of the ways people encouraged me was by sending cards and letters.
I have quite a large collection of these cards that I received when I was in the hospital and in rehab. In the beginning, Al would read the letters to me, since I was unable to read them myself. Even though I often didn't understand what he was reading to me, I was encouraged by these letters, and I saved every one.
On Saturday, I got the box of letters out of the closet and read them all again. This time I read them myself! I was encouraged by the thoughtfulness of each person who took time to send me a card or note. I was encouraged to know I can now read them myself, even though I read much more slowly than I did before. Reading so slowly gives me more time to soak in what I am reading! And I was encouraged by the content of each message. Even the smallest note had an impression. Each word stamped encouragement on my heart!
There are so many ways we can encourage one another. Cards and letters offer just one opportunity. We can encourage one another with a kind word or a thoughtful gesture. Sometimes all it takes is a smile!
Who can you encourage today?
"Encourage one another, and all the more as you see the day drawing near."
(Hebrews 10:25 NASB)
We all need some encouragement from time to time. Wouldn't you agree?
There was a big football game yesterday. Some people are thrilled with the outcome and others are wondering what happened! That second group could probably use some encouragement this morning.
I've been thinking a lot about encouragement over the last few days. Countless numbers of people have encouraged me in these weeks of stroke recovery. One of the ways people encouraged me was by sending cards and letters.
I have quite a large collection of these cards that I received when I was in the hospital and in rehab. In the beginning, Al would read the letters to me, since I was unable to read them myself. Even though I often didn't understand what he was reading to me, I was encouraged by these letters, and I saved every one.
On Saturday, I got the box of letters out of the closet and read them all again. This time I read them myself! I was encouraged by the thoughtfulness of each person who took time to send me a card or note. I was encouraged to know I can now read them myself, even though I read much more slowly than I did before. Reading so slowly gives me more time to soak in what I am reading! And I was encouraged by the content of each message. Even the smallest note had an impression. Each word stamped encouragement on my heart!
There are so many ways we can encourage one another. Cards and letters offer just one opportunity. We can encourage one another with a kind word or a thoughtful gesture. Sometimes all it takes is a smile!
Who can you encourage today?
"Encourage one another, and all the more as you see the day drawing near."
(Hebrews 10:25 NASB)
Wednesday, February 1, 2017
Overwhelmed
If you have been following my journey through stroke recovery, you may remember that I have had to deal with some significant vision issues. Immediately following my stroke, I had double vision for several weeks and I wore an eye patch until that cleared up. When I no longer needed the patch, I still had vision issues to deal with. After I had my appointment with the eye doctor a couple of weeks ago, he prescribed new glasses to fix all that.
I confess that I had mixed emotions as we went to pick up the new glasses yesterday. On the one hand, I was excited to be able to see clearly and excited about how clearer vision would made things easier as I navigate this journey of learning to read and write again. On the other hand, I was a little bit fearful that we were expecting too much from these glasses and that I was setting myself up to be disappointed. Did I ever miss the mark on that one!
These new glasses are amazing! I can see! Once again I have underestimated what my God can do!
Yesterday I was completely amazed and overwhelmed, and I remain so this morning. First of all, I am completely in awe of what God has done for me throughout this journey. And yesterday, not only did I get glasses that help me see clearly, but I got so much more. Yesterday afternoon I played the piano, not having to rely on what I might be able to remember, but reading notes off the page. I didn't know if I would ever be able to do that again after the stroke, but God has given me this gift and I am overwhelmed.
As if that weren't blessing enough, I held a book in my hand and read words off the page! That's another thing I didn't know if I would ever be able to do, but I did it! It's still a very slow process. My brain doesn't process things as quickly as it did before. But even though it was much slower than it was before, I read from a book, and I am overwhelmed!
I am overwhelmed by all God's goodness to me. And when I shared on social media yesterday some of yesterday's blessings, I was completely blown away by the responses from family and friends and people I don't even know! Throughout this journey you have all encouraged me more that you can possibly know with your letters and cards and posts. And you did it again yesterday! This morning as I looked back over your comments about my new glasses and about my piano-playing experience, I am overwhelmed.
Certainly these days since November 16 have been challenging. But God has been faithful and gracious, and you have blessed and encouraged me throughout the journey. I keep using the same word over and over this morning, but it's the word that most accurately reflects how I feel. I am overwhelmed!
I received a card in the mail a couple of days ago from a friend who has faithfully encouraged me throughout this journey. This card said "..courage..strength..hope..as you face one day at a time." Thanks, Marge, for the encouragement and for the reminder. I've come a long way since that day in November. I have made great progress in my recovery. But there's still a ways to go. One day at a time!
Thank you to all of you who have encouraged me so much during this journey. Thank you for your cards and notes, but especially for praying. I know that I am where I am today because of your prayers.
Most of all, thank you, Lord, for all you have done for me!
"Great is the LORD and greatly to be praised." (Psalm 48:1)
I confess that I had mixed emotions as we went to pick up the new glasses yesterday. On the one hand, I was excited to be able to see clearly and excited about how clearer vision would made things easier as I navigate this journey of learning to read and write again. On the other hand, I was a little bit fearful that we were expecting too much from these glasses and that I was setting myself up to be disappointed. Did I ever miss the mark on that one!
These new glasses are amazing! I can see! Once again I have underestimated what my God can do!
Yesterday I was completely amazed and overwhelmed, and I remain so this morning. First of all, I am completely in awe of what God has done for me throughout this journey. And yesterday, not only did I get glasses that help me see clearly, but I got so much more. Yesterday afternoon I played the piano, not having to rely on what I might be able to remember, but reading notes off the page. I didn't know if I would ever be able to do that again after the stroke, but God has given me this gift and I am overwhelmed.
As if that weren't blessing enough, I held a book in my hand and read words off the page! That's another thing I didn't know if I would ever be able to do, but I did it! It's still a very slow process. My brain doesn't process things as quickly as it did before. But even though it was much slower than it was before, I read from a book, and I am overwhelmed!
I am overwhelmed by all God's goodness to me. And when I shared on social media yesterday some of yesterday's blessings, I was completely blown away by the responses from family and friends and people I don't even know! Throughout this journey you have all encouraged me more that you can possibly know with your letters and cards and posts. And you did it again yesterday! This morning as I looked back over your comments about my new glasses and about my piano-playing experience, I am overwhelmed.
Certainly these days since November 16 have been challenging. But God has been faithful and gracious, and you have blessed and encouraged me throughout the journey. I keep using the same word over and over this morning, but it's the word that most accurately reflects how I feel. I am overwhelmed!
I received a card in the mail a couple of days ago from a friend who has faithfully encouraged me throughout this journey. This card said "..courage..strength..hope..as you face one day at a time." Thanks, Marge, for the encouragement and for the reminder. I've come a long way since that day in November. I have made great progress in my recovery. But there's still a ways to go. One day at a time!
Thank you to all of you who have encouraged me so much during this journey. Thank you for your cards and notes, but especially for praying. I know that I am where I am today because of your prayers.
Most of all, thank you, Lord, for all you have done for me!
"Great is the LORD and greatly to be praised." (Psalm 48:1)
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