Comparisons are a part of our lives. We go to the grocery store or the farmer's market and must determine, based on a comparison, which tomatoes or peaches or watermelons are the best for us to purchase.
We determine, based on a comparison, whether or not the blue shoes or the pink shoes look better with our outfit.
We decide, when we're shopping, which grocery store or discount store is going to give us the best value.
If we're buying a new house, we compare mortgage companies to see who will give us the best rate. We compare houses to see which of the houses available will best meet the needs of our family. We compare neighborhoods to see which will work best for us.
All of these are valid comparisons. They make us good consumers and good stewards of our finances.
But what about those other comparisons that we make?
She's prettier than I am. He's a better writer than I am. She has a better voice than I do. He plays the piano (or the trumpet or the guitar or whatever) better than I do. Why am I so fat and everybody else is so thin? Why am I so short and everybody else is so tall? Why do I have such big feet? Nobody else has a nose this big! Everybody is smarter than I am. Her children are better behaved than mine. He's a better baseball player. She never has any problems like I do.
And then we start to play the "if only" game. If only I were thinner. If only I had a better job. If only we had a bigger house. If only we had a smaller house. If only the kids behaved. If only my kids were smarter or more talented or better athletes. If only I were taller. If only I were shorter. If only we lived in a different city. Or a different state. If only. Then things would be better.
These are not healthy comparisons. One of the problems with these comparisons is that they make us feel inferior. Unworthy. Unloved.
But there's a bigger problem with these comparisons. It's a matter of focus. In each case, the focus is on "me". On how "I" compare to whatever standard we are using for measurement, whatever basis we are using for comparison. And as you may have heard, life is not about you. Not about me. In fact, Rick Warren began his book The Purpose Driven Life with that very point. His first sentence is, "It's not about you."
You have probably heard the expression "bloom where you're planted." And we usually use that to talk about being useful in whatever physical location we find ourselves. But what if it means more than just physical location? What if it means in whatever "state" or condition we find ourselves.
Think of it this way. If you are a daisy, you will never bloom as a rose. So, bloom as a daisy! And be the best daisy you can be! If you are a duck, you will never sound like a sparrow or a chickadee. So, be the best duck you can be! "Bloom" wherever you are planted.
If we truly believe that God is sovereign, and I do, then we must also believe that He has created us according to His divine design, that He has gifted and equipped us for the work He has for us, and that He has placed us in a sphere of influence where He desires us to do that work. Certainly everything about our lives may not be according to His perfect plan for us. The "fat or thin" part, for example, may be more due to the choices we have made or to our own lack of discipline than to any divine plan!
So, rather than comparing our situations or circumstances to others around us, and rather than complaining (often incessantly!) about our situations or circumstances, perhaps we should change our focus.
If it is our intent to follow hard after God, we should be examining our situations, our circumstances, our attitudes, our motivations in comparison to what God has to say rather than to the neighbor or to society or to celebrity culture or to any other standard. We should be asking ourselves some questions. Questions like:
Am I being faithful to the work God has given me to do?
Or am I complaining about His purpose in and for me, wishing I had someone else's gifts or talents or purpose?
Am I "seeking first His kingdom" (Matthew 6:33) or am I more interested in building my own?
Am I giving Him my best?
Am I determined to be, in the words of Oswald Chambers, "my utmost for His highest"?
Or is life all about me?
Am I following hard after God?
Comparing ourselves to others......to their ministry, their talents, their life purpose, their expectations......is never a good idea. It puts the focus in the wrong place.
If we are going to be making comparisons, we should be focusing our attention on God, on His plans and purposes, and on how we are fitted into His plan, rather than trying to fit Him into ours. God's purpose is not to make me into the image of my neighbor or that lady at church or the Bible study teacher or the celebrity on TV. His purpose is to mold me into the image of His Son.
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD." (Isaiah 55:8 ESV)
"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son." (Romans 8:28-29 ESV)
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