Purposeful Waiting

“Waiting on God isn’t about the suspension of meaning and purpose. It’s part of the meaning and purpose that God has brought into my life. Waiting on God isn’t to be viewed as an obstruction in the way of the plan. Waiting is an essential part of the plan. For the child of God, waiting isn’t simply about what I’ll receive at the end of my wait. No, waiting is much more purposeful, efficient, and practical than that. Waiting is fundamentally about what I’ll become as I wait. God is using the wait to do in and through me exactly what He’s promised. Through the wait He’s changing me. By means of the wait He’s altering the fabric of my thoughts and desires. Through the wait He’s causing me to see and experience new things about Him and His kingdom. And all of this sharpens me, enabling me to be a more useful tool in His redemptive hands.”        ~Paul Tripp

I came across this quote this morning as I was reading a blog post from "Women Living Well", and it really grabbed my attention. Maybe it speaks to you as well.  I don't know about you, but I don't really enjoy waiting.  But life is filled with "waiting opportunities", isn't it?  Waiting in the doctor's office; waiting in line at the grocery store or the post office; waiting for that red light to turn green; waiting for the check to come in the mail; waiting for ...............  You can fill in your own blank.

In our society these days there are a lot of people waiting.  Waiting for a job.  Waiting for a house to sell.  Waiting for some good news about a health diagnosis.  Again, the list could be very long.

We've been hoping to sell our house.  And this is definitely NOT a good time to be trying to sell a house.  We're waiting.  Hoping for some positive news.  And it isn't coming.

I feel like I have been in a waiting mode for a long time.  About the house, but not just about the house.  For a number of years, nearly a decade really, my life has in many ways been time in waiting mode.  Under a cloud.  Battling depression.  Dealing with some tough stuff.  That isn't to say that every minute of the last eight years has been horrid.  But there have been some really difficult times.  Without rehashing all the details, let's just say that I have really struggled.  Struggled to understand "why".  Struggled to understand what God was trying to teach me.  Struggled to see light at the end of the tunnel. 

These last few years of my journey have been hard.  Lots of bends in the road.  Lots of potholes along the way.  Lots of clouds in my sky.  There have been occasional bursts of sunshine along the way.  But they have been followed by more clouds and storms.  Life has been tough.  Daddy used to often say "life is hard by the yard, but by the inch it's a cinch!".  I'm sure that wasn't original.  But appropriate.  Life is hard.  So, taking one step at a time and keeping my focus lifted upward - not on the circumstances, but on the One who knows best - is really the only way to get through it.

I'm not sure I have learned all the lessons I needed to learn through these tough times.  I'm not sure I have been a very good student!  But somehow I'm beginning to see light at the end of the tunnel!  I can't explain it.  It just "feels like" the clouds are lifting.  I hope I'm right about that! Somehow, I'm beginning to get some perspective, some understanding of what's been going on with me over these last few years. But no matter what,  I'm holding on to the truth that God is at work. That waiting is about "what I become AS I WAIT."  That God is at work in my life even when it doesn't feel like it and I can't understand.  That life is all about Him and not about me.  And that "He who began a good work in (me) will be faithful to complete it."  (Philippians 1:6)

My Bucket List

I remember making a list when I was in high school.  These days we would call it my bucket list.  Back then it was just a list.  A list of things I wanted to do or to accomplish in my life.  I don't know what ever happened to that list, and I really don't remember everything that was on the list. 

There are a few items on the list that I do remember.  As an example, one of my goals was to learn to play classical guitar.  That hasn't happened.  There was something on the list about travel.  I could put a check mark by that one.  We've had some amazing travels.......London, Edinburgh, York (not New York, although I've been there, too......York, England, in this case.....one of my favorite cities!), Paris, Zurich, Milan, Tokyo, Sidney, Melbourne.....just to name a few!  Travels all over this country, as well.  And Jerusalem.....one of my favorite travel memories of all time.  As far as "the list" is concerned, I have actually far exceeded my expectations.

I do remember that my list included this phrase:  to be happy, and to make someone else happy, too.  That one I can definitely consider a success.  I have a happy life.  I am a happy person.  I have a happy marriage.  Please don't misunderstand.  I am not trying to say that there are no problems, that there is never a gray cloud in my sky.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  In this journey through life, there have been potholes.  A lot of potholes. Some really deep potholes. But there is joy in the journey!

If I were to make a bucket list in this season of life, it would be different from the list I made years ago.  Sneaking up on 61 gives me a different perspective on life than I had at 16!  I have a different list of wants and want-tos these days, for myself as well as for my sons and my grandsons.  Not long ago I made a list of some of those desires.  I don't know if this qualifies as a bucket list.  It probably more accurately could be considered a prayer list, one specifically directed toward my family.  When I wrote this list, I divided it into two parts.  The first part, the "A" list, is the most important of all desires I have for them.

This is what I want/pray for concerning my sons and my grandsons:

• a passionate love for God and His Word.
• an awareness of His grace.
• a personal and growing relationship with God through His Son.
• to know the life and power of God's Word.
• to love others and treat them with kindness and respect.
• to be reflections of God's glory, to glorify Him in all things.

There's a "B" list as well.  It includes things like laughter and friends, good health, a life-long romance with a spouse who loves Jesus, financial freedom.

These lists may not be a "bucket list" in the truest sense.  But they reflect the desires of my heart, for those I love most in this life as well as for myself.  As we go through life, we each may have lofty dreams and goals.  We may accomplish much in the world's eyes.  We may be well-educated and have a long list of degrees and accomplishments attached to our names.  We may be well traveled.  We may receive much.  It will mean little unless this list has become reality in our lives.

"For this reason also......we have not ceased to pray for you and to ask that you be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so that you will walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, to please Him in all respects, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God."  (Colossians 1:9-10  NASB)

Some Things I Just Don't Understand

What a wide open topic!  Wouldn't you agree that there are more things in this life that we don't  understand than that we do? 

Let's just start with this one.  A few days ago I placed a product order for my Mary Kay business.  The distribution center that services my area is in the Atlanta area.  Last night I checked the status of my order and discovered that it was in a UPS service center in Secausus, New Jersey!!  Really?  Can anybody explain to me why a package is delivered to a UPS facility in Atlanta, Georgia (which, by the way, is a state right next door to the state where I live!!), and that same package must travel all the way to New Jersey before then being driven back to North Carolina for delivery?  Does this make sense to anybody?  I think I may have the most traveled cleansers and mascaras of anybody you know!  They have toured the East Coast before coming to me!!

I don't understand why onions make people cry.  I don't understand how a major network can leave out part of the Pledge of Allegiance and then expect that people will actually believe it was accidental.  I don't understand why anybody ever thought tube socks were a good idea!  I don't understand weeds.

I hate weeds!  They make me crazy!  Why do they even exist?  OK, I guess I really know the answer to that one.  The answer can be found back in Genesis chapter 3.  But weeds still make me crazy!  Here on this mountain it's a struggle to have grass or flowers.  Not impossible, but a struggle.  And forget about trying to grow a vegetable in this ground! Our "garden" is planted in Earth Boxes (basically a planter on wheels).  But the weeds flourish!

As an example, we recently had some additional gravel put down on our driveway.  A really thick layer of gravel was laid down on top of the gravel that was already there.  Once the guys finished, the driveway looked great!  I should have taken a picture.  Because the very next day, there they were.......weeds!  Growing right through all that rock.  And not one or two little weeds scattered here and there.  No......an entire "weed patch" growing at the end of the driveway.  Can somebody explain that to me?  How did all those weeds get through all that rock overnight?  Good grief!

I could go on and on.  But I have weeds to pull!  Have a great day!

Monday Morning Mundaneness

It's Monday morning of the week after.  After a full, fun week.  Family.  Shopping.  Eating.  Laughing.  Eating some more.  Laughing some more.  Well, you get the idea.

And so here we are.  Monday again.  And a rainy Monday at that.  I've been humming that song this morning.....you know the one.......rainy days and Mondays always get me down.

A rainy Monday is enough to get me into a funk.  But a rainy Monday with no grandchildren to hug or giggle with.  Now that is a recipe for serious trouble.  I'm really trying to stay focused on positive things.  I'm getting back into my routines, and that's a good thing for someone as OCD as I am.  But I confess that I'm moving slowly this morning, mentally and physically.

I'm back to routine Monday mundaneness today........laundry, decluttering, cleaning.  I need to go grocery shopping.  I really hate doing that on rainy days!  But it must be done.  And so I'm pausing - again - for an attitude adjustment.  Time to refocus.  To fix my attention not on the mundane tasks at hand (and my lack of enthusiasm for them!) but on the One who deserves all my attention, all my focus, all my praise!

"Bless the Lord, o my soul, and all that is within me, bless His holy name."  (Psalm 103:1)

"Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord  rather than for men." (Colossians 3:23)

My Daddy

My daddy went to be with Jesus on June 12, 2009, just a week before Father's Day weekend.  Since then, Father's Day brings memories of funerals and loss.  But it also brings wonderful memories as well.  I had the world's best Daddy!  I realize that you may think you had/have the best Daddy in the world.  I won't try to change your mind.  I'll just share with you a few of the things I loved about my daddy.

Daddy worked in the Post Office.  He had spent his entire life, except for his years in the Navy during World War II, in our little town.  As a little girl, I didn't know or understand a lot about that.  I just knew that at the end of the work day when he came home, he was never too tired or too busy for big hugs, for playing with blocks, for reading stories (even though he occasionally did try to skip a few pages!)......never too busy or too tired for his little girl!

Daddy was friendly and outgoing.  He loved people!  He always had a smile ready.  At the same time he was also a very serious person.  He loved to read.  He loved poetry.  He could still quote his favorite poems.....without missing a single word!......at the end of his life.  I always admired, and envied, that ability.  He loved a good joke!  And he didn't have much use for television.  He thought it was mostly a waste of time.  Except for the Evening News with Walter Cronkite, of course!

Daddy had a reputation, not entirely undeserved, of being cheap!  "Tight with money" is the phrase I often heard used.  But in reality, Daddy was one of the most generous people I have ever known.  He would give you the shirt off his back or the shoes off his feet.  But he definitely didn't like to waste money!  As a child of the Depression, he remembered well what it had been like to be in want.  And so he was "careful" (his word!) with money so we didn't ever have to go there again.  I'm grateful to him for that, although I likely never told him how much I appreciate the lessons he taught me.

One of my favorite memories comes from my early childhood.  A local farmer had a new bull, so Daddy took me out to see it.  As I stood on the fence rails watching that bull stomp and snort, I was understandably terrified.  Daddy calmly explained to me that he would protect me, that he would get between me and that bull, that if necessary he would let the bull hurt him so that no harm would come to me.  I later came to see that as a beautiful picture of what Christ has done for me.......taken the pain of sin so that no harm comes to me.....protected me from the power of sin.  Thank you, Daddy, for teaching me this lesson.

We were members of First Baptist Church, Landrum.  The church my daddy grew up in.  The church his ancestors had helped to found back in 1803.  Daddy loved his church.  As long as his health permitted, he attended regularly.  He was a Deacon in that church.  For many years he was the director of one of the adult departments.  At his funeral, I was so amazed at the number of people who commented on poems he had quoted in Sunday School assemblies, and how much that had meant to them.  Daddy definitely made an impact in people's lives.  Not just mine, but so many others.  Thank you, Daddy.

Daddy loved music.  In his later years, he had great joy in listening to Gaither Homecoming Videos.  He would sometimes sing along when he thought no one was listening!  As a child he had learned to play the piano, although he rarely played as an adult.  The one song he still remembered how to play was "I Will Sing of My Redeemer".  I never hear that hymn without thinking of Daddy!  When I was a little girl, we often sang together when we were in the car together, particularly on long road trips (or what seemed like long trips.....not nearly so long these days now that we have interstate highways!).  The hymn we most often sang was an old gospel favorite...."Trials dark on every hand and we cannot understand all the ways that God would lead us to that blessed Promised Land.  But He'll guide us with His eye and we'll follow 'til we die.  And we'll understand it better by and by."

Daddy was a devoted caregiver.  He cared for his parents after he got out of the Navy when his mother had cancer and his father had his first stroke.  After my grandmother's passing, he continued to look after his dad.  Granddaddy lived with us part of the year (and with Aunt Maggie the rest of the time).  He was with us when he died.  And Daddy was my mother's caregiver for the last ten years of her life.  He was devoted to his beloved Helen, and his last years without her were lonely ones for him.

I learned so many things from my daddy.  How to ride a bike.  The value of a dollar.  To be a person of my word. A strong work ethic. A commitment to excellence.  That if something is worth doing, it's worth doing your best. To love unconditionally.  So many things.  Most importantly, from both my parents I learned to love Jesus.  I learned about what is really important in life.  For that, I am eternally grateful.  I love you, Daddy, and I miss you so much.  But I'll see you again!

Positive Affirmations

In my years in direct sales, positive affirmations have become a way of life.  It goes along with the "what the mind can believe and conceive, it can achieve" mantra that is part of our pink bubble.  In the beginning, I just viewed the whole affirmation thing as a little bit strange.  I came to realize, however, that "self talk"......the things I say to myself and convince myself are true.....has a great affect on how my day, my business, my relationships turn out.  If I say "I am happy, I am healthy, I am terrific" often enough, then I begin to believe it......in spite of all my aches and pains!  If I say "I'm awake, alert and enthusiastic" then I become more so.  I tried "I am skinny, rich, and organized", but somehow only one of the three ever became reality!

Having that positive approach to the day led to greater success in my business, but I am convinced also led to greater success in interpersonal relationships as well.  Perhaps that is really the foundation of greater success in my business!  In any event, a "glass half full" approach to life certainly leads to a happier life than the "half empty" view so many people take.

It occurs to me that we would do well to use this approach in our spiritual lives.  I'm not talking about reciting some mumbo-jumbo mantra daily that will somehow cause all our problems to go away or lead us to some higher spiritual plane.  That's a little (a lot!) too New-Agey for me.

I'm talking about focusing our attention on the blessings that are ours in abundance.  Psalm 103 is a good place to start.  Why not join me in making this your daily affirmation? 

Bless the Lord, O my soul; And all that is within me, bless His holy name.

Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget none of His benefits;

Who pardons all your iniquities; Who heals all your diseases;

Who redeems your life from the pit:

Who crowns you with lovingkindness and compassion;

Who satisfies your years with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle.

Bless the Lord, all you works of His.

In all places of His dominion, bless the Lord, O my soul!

-Psalm 103:1-5,22





Distractions

As I begin this post, I almost feel the need to offer a subtitle, or perhaps a disclaimer of some sort.  What I'm really trying to focus on (note the word "trying"!) is what I often refer to as my spiritual ADD.  That's attention deficit disorder for those of you not familiar with the acronym.  I have such good intentions.  And I really WANT to do these things......to spend time in Bible Study, to sit and wait on God, to hear His voice (not audibly, necessarily.....just that "still, small voice"), and I could go on.  But.......

And there's the rub, isn't it?  There's always a "but".  But I need to answer the phone.  But I need to get the laundry started.  But my mind starts to wander.  But the dog needs to go out.  But I want to go play with my grandson; after all, he's only here for a few days. But I need to water the plants.  But........

Now I realize that I can listen to God and I can meditate on His Word while I'm watering plants or washing dishes or making the bed or doing lots of those things.  And I often do.  That's not really the problem.  The issue is more that I am so easily distracted from my purposeful intention to block those things out and have  a more extended and focused time of prayer or of time in the Word.  Sometimes just getting started is the biggest stumbling block!

This morning is a good example.  I have the day completely to myself.  Al is out of town.  Brian, Emily and Christopher are visiting with Emily's dad until later in the day.  There are no pressing chores to be done.  The plants are watered and the laundry is caught up.  I have no place I need to go.  My intention has been to spend time this morning in Bible Study.  I'm beginning a new Precept study in the Book of Daniel.  I'm really excited about that.  So why can't I get started? 

Well, I needed to watch my morning news show to see what's going on in the world.  And I needed to check my e-mail; after all, something really important might be in my in-box.  I needed to get on Facebook.....just in case I missed something!  I needed to let Molly out.  See what I mean?  None of that was really important......well, except for Molly.  And sharing with all of you my frustration at being so distracted from my purpose!  Am I the only one who has this issue?

So, now that I have confessed to you that I have trouble focusing on the task at hand, I'll just end this post and get started with my Bible Study.  I'll do that just as soon as I get another cup of coffee!

Running with Endurance

    "let us run with endurance the race that is set before us........" (Hebrews 12:1b NASB)



This is one of my favorite verses and one I have been thinking about a lot over the past few days.  Maybe it's because we celebrated our anniversary, one of the milestones of life that leads me to a time of reflection, of looking back and looking forward.  Maybe it has to do with marking another year without any parents.  I think of them often, but especially on anniversaries.....their birthdays, their wedding anniversary, the anniversaries of their passing from this life to the next.  Maybe it has to do with having all the family around over the weekend......both sons and their families, my brother and sister-in-law, my nieces and their husbands, my great niece.....all of us together, which is a rare occasion indeed.

Life has certainly been different for my sons than it was for me.  I lived my entire life on the same street.  We moved once, when I was two years old, to the house where my parents lived out the rest of their lives.  It was next door to the house where I spent my first two years.  I grew up in a small town where everybody knew everybody.  After I went to college (in a town about two hours away), I returned home for about a month and then got married.  Al and I lived in the town where he grew up, just a few miles from his parents, for the first twelve years of our marriage.  And then life changed!

In the years since, we have moved a lot.  A LOT!!  And that's where Hebrews 12 becomes part of the picture.  This is not the life we had imagined.  We never dreamed of living in so many different parts of the country, of meeting so many people, of traveling to so many places.  But this is the path God has laid before us, and so we are doing our best to follow that path, to "run with endurance".

It hasn't always been easy.  It's hard to pull up stakes and move so often.  It's hard to leave friends behind.  It's hard sometimes to make new ones.  And that seems to get more difficult as we get older.  It hasn't been easy for us, and I'm sure it wasn't easy for our sons.  While we have all had some wonderful experiences that we would never otherwise have had, we have all had our share of less-than-wonderful experiences as well.  Al and I have always been aware of how hard it was for our boys, and have done our best to smooth the bumps in the road for them.  I'm not sure they have understood that.  One of them in particular seems to have greater resentment about the life we have lived than the other.......you know who you are!.......with apparently less-than-fond memories of the "transient" life we have lived (that's his word, not mine!  He has also described it as being "tossed from pillar to post", which makes him sound like an unwanted foster child, if you ask me!  Nothing could be farther from the truth! Unfortunately, it's the "elephant in the room" that we never talk about!).

I suppose that instead of moving around so much, we could have stayed in one place with no job and no means of support.   I doubt that any of us would have liked that so much!  So we have followed the job, gone where employment led us, and done our best to live for Jesus wherever He led.  We're still doing that......doing our best to live for Jesus, to run our race (not somebody else's) with endurance.  Even after all these years, it isn't always easy.  But it is so worth it!

It may be thro' the shadows dim, or o'er the stormy sea,

I take my cross and follow Him, wherever He leadeth me.

My heart, my life, my all I bring to Christ who loves me so;

He is my Master, Lord, and King; wherever He leads, I'll go.

Wherever He leads I'll go; wherever He leads, I'll go;

I'll follow my Christ who loves me so; wherever He leads, I'll go.

                                                                                                       -B. B. McKinney



Anniversaries

This was a weekend for celebrating anniversaries.  It began on Friday as we celebrated our 39th year of marriage.  Yesterday we celebrated family as we held our first "official" family reunion.  It was also my great-niece Ansley's first birthday.  Another reason to celebrate.  And it marked two years since Daddy left us for his eternal home. 

Anniversaries are important for a couple of reasons.  They are a time to look back.  To reflect on events past, on accomplishments, on the good times - and the not so good - that define who we are at this particular moment in time.  They are also a reason to look forward. To anticipate more good things in the future.  Anniversaries mark milestones in this journey we call life.  In ancient cultures, significant events were marked with standing stones as memorials to those events.  Anniversaries are like those standing stones.  They are a time for remembering.  They are markers of significant events.

Thirty-nine years ago, Al and I stood before each other in a beautiful candle-lit church to declare our love for each other and to make a covenant together to share our lives........for better, for worse; for richer, for poorer; in sickness and in health.  And in these years together, there has been some of all of that.  Probably a lot more poorer than richer!!  Back in the seventies when we married, we were singing along with Karen Carpenter as we drove away from the church......."We've Only Just Begun".  That's still the theme song around here.  As we're growing older together, the old saying still holds true for us:  grow old with me, the best is yet to be!

As we celebrated family yesterday, I couldn't help missing my parents so much.  Mother has been gone for more than 10 years now, and Daddy only two years, but they both would have been thrilled to see their children, their grandchildren and great-grandchildren spending time together.  There was a lot of laughter yesterday as we shared memories and made new ones.  And in the finest Austin tradition, we ate!  Mother and Daddy would have loved it.

I'm thinking a lot about Daddy this morning.  Two years ago today I got that phone call I had been dreading.  The one that said Daddy had been found on the floor by his bed, that he had passed the previous afternoon.  It still bothers me that we didn't know until the next day.  That he was alone.  At the time, the pastor of his church kept reminding me that he was not alone, that Jesus had promised never to leave or forsake him, and that even in death, He was there with Daddy.  I understand all that theologically.  But it still bothers me.

My daddy was, as I am, very much a creature of habit.  His morning routine began with his coffee and his Bible.  And he always read from the Open Windows devotional book.  As we gathered at his house to make arrangement for his funeral service, his Bible and devotional book were on the table next to his chair, open to the passage he had read on his last day in this life.  It's what always comes to mind as I remember this day because it so perfectly describes my daddy.  And while I miss both my parents terribly, this is their legacy to me and the hope I have of seeing them again.......

"Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.  For ye are dead, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.  When Christ, who is our life, shall appear, then ye shall also appear with him in glory."  (Colossians 3:2-3 KJV)

So Many Books, So Little Time!

There are a lot of books in my to-be-read pile.  A lot! And there are lots of books on the shelf that I would like to read again.  I enjoy all sorts of books, both fiction and nonfiction.  And I'm usually reading several at once. I have stacks of books piled up in the bedroom.  My bookshelves are overflowing.  And my Kindle has several yet-to-be-read titles awaiting me.  So many books, so little time!

I love reading books that are part of a series like the "Mitford" books by Jan Karon.  Maybe I'll read those again now that I live in a Mitford-like small town in the mountains.  I loved reading the Zion Covenant and Zion Chronicles by Brock and Bodie Thoene.  I have actually read those several times, and would love to do it again.  They are historical fiction and have a lot to say about the years leading up to the establishment of Israel as a modern nation.

I have always enjoyed mysteries.  Figuring it all out is part of the fascination, I think.  Lately political thrillers have fascinated me.  I have particularly enjoyed a series of books by Daniel Silva about an Israeli counterintelligence operative.  I most recently read The Rembrandt Affair and am waiting for the next installment in the series.

Right now this is what I'm reading:

• The Alexandria Link by Steve Berry.  I completely disagree with his worldview, but the characters are well developed and the plot line is interesting, at least so far.  It remains to be seen whether it will hold my attention all the way to the end!
• 66 Love Letters by Dr. Larry Crabb.  The subtitle is "A Conversation with God that Invites You into His Story."  I'm really enjoying this one.  It's not one to be rushed through, but one to be digested slowly and that's what I'm doing.
• Whatever Happened to Worship? by A. W. Tozer.  This is another one to read slowly and digest.
• And waiting in the wings for when I finish The Alexandria Link.....either An Irish Country Village or Jane and the Genius of the Place, Being the Fourth Jane Austen Mystery.  Which comes next will depend on my mood, I guess.  But either choice will be a definite change of pace.
• Barefoot in Paris by Ina Garten (the Barefoot Contessa).  Yes, I read cookbooks!  I don't cook much anymore, but I enjoy reading cookbooks.

The bottom line, I guess, is that I just love books.  Big books, little books.  Fat books, thin books.  Heavy-duty novels that require lots of thinking.  Little "fluff" books that require no thinking at all!  I think in the publishing world these are actually referred to as "cozies".  Some of my favorites are a series of  Tea Shop Mysteries set in Charleston, SC and a similar series of mysteries set in a coffee shop in Greenwich Village.  No deep thinking required.  Just fun to read.

So, there you have it.  My name is Susan and I'm a compulsive reader.  A few years ago I saw a coffee mug in a Barnes and Noble that had this phrase circling the mug over and over: "Don't bother me.  I'm reading."  I didn't buy it.  But I should have!

It All Began with the Bookmobile!

I've been traveling down memory lane again.  It's a beautiful trip!  This particular trip was first inspired by a couple of blog posts I read from Novel Matters.  Then I read in our local newspaper that the library is about to move to its new location later this month.  As a result my thoughts have been consumed with memories of trips to the library, of the sights and smells of all those books!  Of the absolute delight I have always felt when surrounded by books. 

The thrill goes back to early childhood.  I loved being read to by my parents.  I still giggle over memories of my daddy, tired from long days at work and probably really tired of reading the same stories over and over and over, as he tried (in vain!) to skip a page or two!  It didn't work!  I caught him every time!

I remember being absolutely beside myself with delight when our next door neighbor Eileen, who was a few years older than I, loaned me her Dick & Jane books.  I remember sitting out in the back yard under a big oak tree, feeling like such a "big girl" (I was about three years old at the time) because I could read the book myself!  Look!  Look!  See Spot run!  Does anybody else remember those books?

When I was very young we didn't have a library in our little town.  We had the Bookmobile!  I don't remember how often it came, but I do remember that it parked at the end of our street.  I have vivid memories of climbing up into that mobile library with my mother and checking out books that we could read and read and read again before taking them back and getting some more.  I loved it!

Eventually we got our own branch of the Spartanburg County Library.  It was a very small building, about the size of an average bedroom, and was open two afternoons a week.....Tuesday and Saturday.  Mrs. Christopher was the Librarian.  She sat behind a table by the door and stamped due dates onto that little white flap glued into the back of the book.  The Children's Section was just to the right of the front door.  It was there that I formed friendships with Nancy Drew and Trixie Belden and the Bobbsey Twins.  Where I got to know people like Florence Nightingale and George Washington Carver and Julie Lowe and Clara Barton and Benjamin Franklin.  Where Louisa May Alcott became a favorite author.  It is quite likely that  I read every book on those shelves at least once! 

I also spent some time in Mysteries and Westerns.  These were for my granddaddy, who lived with us part of the year.  He was confined to his room as a result of multiple strokes, but he loved to read mysteries and westerns.  Twice a week I went to the library and got our books.  If I ever made the mistake of getting him a book he had already read, I was in big trouble!  The town now has a beautiful library building, full of wonderful books and magazines and computers.  But my memories of the Landrum Library always go to that little building from my childhood.

Over the years I have had opportunity to spend time in many libraries.  When I was a little girl I often visited my second counsin Anne Sevier, who taught English at Winthrop College (now Winthrop University).  While Anne was teaching, she would drop me off at the college library and leave me in the care of Miss Schinn, the College Librarian.  That library has moved from building to building over the years, but my memories take me back to what I think is now known as the Rutledge Building......to quiet whispers, big library tables with uncomfortable wooden chairs, and to a children's section on the first floor, back corner on the right, with more books than were housed in the entire Landrum Library!  I remember sitting in the floor, surrounded by books, complete oblivious to anything that might be going on around me.  That continues to happen to this day when there's a good book in my hand!

My library memories take me to the ultra-modern building in Aurora, Colorado.  To the more-than-100-year-old and newly renovated building in Mystic.  I loved that one!  It even had a resident cat!  To a small white building on top of the hill in Ledyard.  Brick buildings and glass buildings and stucco buildings.  It has never been about the building.  It's all about the books!

I confess that I have not spent a lot of time in our local library.  It's a relatively small library as might be expected in a small town.  I confess that I was not particularly impressed with the selections the few times I was there.  But that isn't what has kept me away.  It has more to do with the allergies that have plagued my adult life.  Old buildings, old books.....a recipe for sneezing!  That and the librarian's attitude.......one of those "you're not from around here" moments......have led me to getting my books from other sources.

Shortly after moving here, I discovered a website called PaperbackSwap.  It's a place where you can trade books.  I have loved that website and have read some really good books as a result of using that website.  And as I have grown older, I have discovered that I love KEEPING the books I like......something a library doesn't permit!  So I'm spending less time in libraries, and more time in book stores!

I even broke down and bought a Kindle.  I didn't think I would like it, but I do!  It's great for travel, which was the real reason I bought it in the first place.  The down side is that I really miss the feel of a book, the sound of the pages turning, the smell of the book.  Oh, the sacrifices we make for convenience........

One of my favorite things about libraries, and book stores as well, other than the obvious - books! - is the smell.  I love the smell of that many books all in the same confined space.  Call me crazy, but there it is.......I love the smell of books!  I love the feel of a book in my hand.  I love the sound of pages turning - quietly, mind you.  I don't like the sound of pages being "flipped"!  It seems disrespectful to the book.  (Again, go ahead, call me crazy!)  The smell is my favorite......I love that!

The thing I love even more is the combination of smells at Barnes and Noble.  Books and coffee together.  Two of my very favorite things.  An absolute delight to my senses.  And it all began with the Bookmobile!

"I cannot live without books." - Thomas Jefferson

One Blessing After Another

It's a new month, so that means it's time to flip the calendar page.  Hanging on the wall in the kitchen is one of many calendars we have around the house.  It has become the "official" calendar.....the one that records all the important comings and goings, the appointments we don't want to forget, birthdays and anniversaries, when Al will be leaving and where he will be going.......all the "we really can't forget about this" stuff.

I purchased that particular calendar because it has a pocket on the bottom of each page.  Those pockets are very handy for holding notes and coupons and appointment reminder cards and all those little pieces of paper that are so easily lost but really need to be kept.  It also has a Scripture verse for each month.  And that is what got my attention this morning.

This month's verse comes from the Gospel of John: "From the fullness of His grace we have all received one blessing after another."  (John 1:16 NIV). 

I can't get that phrase out of my mind this morning.......one blessing after another.  I'm realizing how often I focus on the "not-as-I-would-like-it-to-be" aspects of life rather than focusing on my many blessings.  One blessing after another.  Family.  Friends.  Air conditioning.  Fresh watermelon.  Birds singing on the front porch.  Grandchildren.  Laughter.  Coffee.  Good health.  Almost 39 years of marriage to my very best friend.  And I could go on and on and on.  These are just the things that have popped into my head in the last minute. 

So ,this new month is bringing a new focus.  It's time to focus on the blessings!  To cultivate an attitude of gratitude!  Time for an attitude adjustment!  And time to give thanks that God blesses me not because I deserve it, but in spite of the fact that I don't!