Sometimes it's hard to realize how quickly time passes. Has it really been 12 years since my precious mother left this world behind? As I look at the calendar, I realize it's true.
I still miss my mother terribly. I've grown accustomed to her absence. I don't like it, but I've grown accustomed to it. Hardly a day has gone by in these twelve years that I haven't thought of her. At first, always with great sadness.......not for her, but for me. After all, she has gone to a much better place! But she left behind a great void.
Over the years, however, the sorrow with which I always marked this day has evolved a bit. Even though I still miss her greatly, my memories are not so much grieving the loss as celebrating the woman she was. Celebrating the life she lived. Celebrating her character. Celebrating because I was blessed to be her daughter!
I loved my mother. I respected her. I admired her. And especially on this anniversary of her passing, I miss her.
I miss the twinkle in her eye. I miss laughing with her. And shopping with her. Pushing her through the mall in her wheelchair in the years after strokes began to take their toll. I miss chatting on the phone. I miss her macaroni and cheese (none better, ever!).....her potato salad.....her fruit cake cookies. And her coconut cake and divinity at Christmas.
I admired her discipline and her dedication. Every Saturday afternoon, without fail, she was at the church getting her classroom ready for the 6 year olds who would come to Sunday School the next day. Then she would come home and bake a cake so we had dessert with our Sunday dinner. Often she got up extra early on Sunday morning to fry the chicken before church so we didn't have to wait for our dinner when we got home from church. And every Sunday morning she made sure we were fed, dressed, and out the door in time for her to be the first to arrive in her classroom, ready to greet the first child who arrived. She always had supper on the table when Daddy walked in the back door from work. He never had to wait! The house was always clean. The food was always ready on time. I wish I could say the same of myself!!
One of the things I most remember about my mother was her love for her Savior. And her love for God's Word. Even in the later years of her life as her health was seriously declining, her Bible was always next to her on the bed. She read it faithfully every day. One of my treasured possessions is a set of index cards with Scripture verses - the verses she had memorized - written in her own hand, well-worn from use.
On this day that marks the anniversary of her passing, a particular passage of Scripture comes to mind that reminds me so very much of my mother.
"An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain........She rises while it is still night and gives food to her household.....She extends her hand to the poor and stretches out her hand to the needy......Strength and dignity are her clothing and she smiles at the future. She opens her mouth in wisdom and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and bless her; her husband also and her praises her." (Proverbs 31).
Twelve years have passed since I watched my mother take her last breaths in this life. And I miss her still more than words can say.
Today I remember the events of that day......October 30, 2000. But even more, I remember all the years prior to that day. I remember her life more than I remember her death. I am so grateful that God gave me this wonderful woman as my mother. I am grateful for the godly example she set. And I want to be just like her!
"Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised." (Proverbs 31:30 NASB)
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