Grumpy, Grumpy, Grumpy

Do you ever have one of those days? You know the ones. Where nothing quite suits. Where everything is just a little off. Where your grumpy self wins out over your more pleasant self.


I'm having one of those days. Maybe it's the weather. Maybe I could blame it on the dog. Maybe it's an accumulation of things. But this is one of those days. Truth be told, I've been having one of those days for a few days now.


I have a vague memory of reading a post some time ago titled When Your Happy Gets Bumped. I really wish I could find that post! I think I need to read it again! Although I can't say I have ever described my grumpiness quite that way, I like the sound of that.  It sounds much nicer to say that my happy just got bumped that to admit that I'm a grouch!


But lately it seems that my grumpy self has shown up much too frequently. This morning as I was writing in my prayer journal, as I looked back a few pages to notice how God had answered my prayers, I found an entry that went something like this:  Lord, my irritable self has shown up again today and I need help.


I really don't like my grumpy self very much. I could probably rationalize all day about how I have earned the right to be a little grumpy. Chronic pain can do that to a person. As can the daily frustrations of stroke recovery.  But that's no excuse for making everybody around me miserable with my grumpiness.


I could blame it on the weather. I could blame it on politicians. I could say I didn't get enough sleep. I could complain for all sorts of reasons. But what's the point of that?  The pain persists. Nothing is accomplished by my grumpiness.


It's really all a matter of focus, isn't it? Focusing on problems and pain, on weather, on political correctness, only leads to more grumpiness.


So, with sincere apologies to all who have been victims of my grumpiness, I'm making a diligent, conscious, intentional effort today to refocus. To think about something else. Maybe you need to do that, too. We all have "issues" in our lives that can drag us down, that can make us a bit (or a lot!) grumpy. We all have frustrations. We all have things to deal with that are confusing or wearying or annoying. We can't wish those things away, or make them disappear just by the power of our positive thinking.


We may not be able to change circumstances. But, we can change our attitude! And that can change just by what we choose to focus our attention on.



"Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things."  (Philippians 4:8 ESV, emphasis mine)

Are You Ready?

This morning I came across this post that I wrote on Tuesday, November 15, 2016. I had intended to publish it the following morning, November 16. But somewhere between that Tuesday and Wednesday, I had a stroke and the post was never published, so I'm sharing it with you today.

In the original post I commented about people were not dealing well with the election results. Apparently, not much has changed since last November!


In any event, here is the post I wrote last November, just as it was written then.


We are one week past Election Day. Apparently some people are not yet ready to deal with the results, but deal we must.

We are one week away from Thanksgiving Day. Are you ready? It's almost time!

Once we put Thanksgiving Day behind us, it's on to Christmas! Are you ready? What does that mean to you?

I wrote this devotional book to help us focus our attention on what Christmas is really all about. Do you have your copy yet? This is a great gift for yourself, or for those in your life who might need a little help with their "Christmas spirit".

More information about the book can be found here**: https://www.amazon.com/Are-You-Ready-Christmas-Devotional/dp/1537111930/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1479236026&sr=8-1&keywords=are+you+ready+for+christmas+susan+feaster

You can purchase the book from Amazon, using the link in the sidebar, or you can contact me directly.

In addition, because I'm feeling generous this week, I have one more copy to give away. All you need to do to be entered in this week's drawing is comment to this post about one of your favorite Christmas traditions. I'm looking forward to knowing what your favorite traditions are!

December - and Christmas! - will be here soon! Are you ready?


"For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord." (Luke 2:11 KJV)

Some Thoughts About Change

A lot has changed in my lifetime. A lot. And much of it has been a good thing. As an example, when my mother and I would go to Spartanburg to shop for school clothes back in the 1950s (because that was why you shopped then; shopping wasn't a recreational sport like it is now!), there were two sets of restrooms and two water fountains, one for white people and one for non-white ("colored", as they were known back then). If you have seen the movie "The Help", or if you lived through that era, then you know what I mean. It isn't that way any more. Things have changed. And that's a good thing.


I remember when we didn't have a television. We got a television when I was 4 or 5 hears old. And we had only one telephone. Gasp!!!! But back then, television was a new thing and not everybody had one. My parents didn't have color television until the 70s.

I remember life without computers and cell phones and I-pads and all these technologies we can't seem to live without now. Life was a lot simpler then. And while it is wonderful to be able to access all this information on the web, and communicate any time of day or night with anyone nearly anywhere, I'm not sure that having our lives so controlled by all this technology is entirely a good thing.


I have seen change in nearly every area of life. Music has changed. Fashion has changed. Schools have changed. Even in social media, we often find that things have changed and the way we were accustomed to doing something has changed overnight while we were sleeping. Some changes have been good, but I would submit to you that not all change is good. Sometimes it's just different.
 

My bank recently changed the on-line banking system. They announced that this would make everything "better". Instead, it is a system that is much harder to navigate and much less user friendly. Unfortunately, that seem to be the new normal.


Change just for the sake of change makes no sense to me. Call me old-fashioned. I don't mind! But I belong to the "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" school.


Change is inevitable in life. I am not so naive as to deny that truth. I have lived long enough to know it to be so. But I don't have to always like it, do I?!


Through it all, I'm thankful that not everything changes. And as life continues to change, and not always for the better, it's this truth I'm holding on to........"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever."  (Hebrews 13:8  HCSB)

My Bucket List

I'm a list maker. Always have been. I make grocery lists and to-do lists and lists of gifts to purchase. All kinds of lists. In this season of my life, lists are a necessity, since my memory is not so good since my stroke.

I remember making a list when I was in high school. These days we would call it my bucket list. Back then it was just a list of things I wanted to do or to accomplish in my life. I don't know what ever happened to that list, and I really don't remember everything that was on the list. 

There are a few items on the list that I do remember. One of the items on the list was to learn to play classical guitar. That hasn't happened. And it isn't going to, so I can scratch that off my list! There was also something on my high school list about travel. I could put a check mark by that one. We've had some amazing travels. To London, Edinburgh, York (not New York, although I've been there, too. York, England, in this case, one of my favorite cities!), Paris, Zurich, Milan, Tokyo, Sidney, Melbourne - just to name a few! Travels all over this country, as well.  And Jerusalem, one of my favorite travel memories of all time.  

A couple of summers ago I checked an item off my travel bucket list by visiting Arizona and Oklahoma, the last two states I had not yet visited. Now I have spent time in all 50 states at least once. As far as the list is concerned, when it comes to travel, I have actually far exceeded my expectations. And in a couple of weeks we will be revisiting one of the favorite places on my bucket list, as we will be heading north for another Alaskan cruise. Yes, I have far exceeded my travel dreams!

I do remember that my high school list included this phrase: to be happy, and to make someone else happy, too. That one I can definitely consider a success. I have a happy life. I am a happy person. I have a happy marriage. My life isn't perfect or without its challenges. In this journey through life, there have been potholes. A lot of potholes. Some really deep potholes. But it's a happy life. Certainly I have faced some things I never expected, but even so, there is joy in the journey!

If I were to make a bucket list in this season of life, it would be different from the list I made years ago. Sneaking up on 67 gives me a different perspective on life than I had as a teenager! I have a different list of wants and want-tos these days, for myself as well as for my sons and my grandsons.  Not too long ago I made a list of some of those desires. This is not so much a bucket list as a prayer list, one specifically directed toward my family. When I wrote this list, I divided it into two parts. The first part, the "A" list, is the most important of all desires I have for them.

This is what I'm praying for my family:

• a passionate love for God and His Word.
• an awareness of His grace.
• a personal and growing relationship with God through His Son.
• to know the life and power of God's Word.
• to love others and treat them with kindness and respect.
• to be reflections of God's glory, to glorify Him in all things.

There's a "B" list as well.  It includes things like laughter and friends, good health, a life-long romance with a spouse who loves Jesus, financial freedom.

These lists may not be a bucket list in the truest sense, but they reflect the desires of my heart, for those I love most in this life as well as for myself. As we go through life, we each may have lofty dreams and goals. We may accomplish much in the world's eyes. We may be well-educated and have a long list of degrees and accomplishments attached to our names. We may be well traveled. We may receive much of what the world has to offer.


It will mean little unless this list has become reality in our lives.

"For this reason also......we have not ceased to pray for you and to ask that you be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so that you will walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, to please Him in all respects, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God."  (Colossians 1:9-10  NASB)

Which Will You Choose? A Thankful Tuesday Post.

I was confronted with a verse of Scripture this morning that I can't get out of my head. In fact, it seems everywhere I have turn ed today, there it is. Frankly, I would like to get away from it, but I can't.

"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I say, rejoice!" (Philippians 4:8). 

I have been trying to ignore that verse, but I can't do it. And when that one goes out of my mind, here come this closely related verse.

"In everything give thanks." (1 Thessalonians 5:18)

A few words jump out at me from those verses. Always. In everything.

No matter how I might try to rationalize, the meaning of those words is quite clear. Always means always. Everything means every thing. Not sometimes. Not some things. Always. All the time. In every situation. In every circumstance.

So this morning I find myself facing reality. I don't ALWAYS give thanks in EVERYTHING.  I don't REJOICE ALWAYS. But isn't that what Scripture tells me I SHOULD be doing?

Maybe you face the same dilemma. You love the Lord. You want to obey His word. All of it.....not just the easy parts. And when we're tempted to ignore those parts we don't like, we're reminded of verses like these.

I don't know what kind of week you are having. But I do know how things are in my world. In these months since my stroke I have been told over and over again that there will be good days and there will be bad days. When I was in rehab and could see progress and improvement every day, it was easy to hold on to those verses.

"In everything give thanks."

But now that I am settled into a new normal, with no dramatic changes from day to day, I'm in a routine of good days and bad days. Thankfully, there are more good ones than bad. On those days, it's easy to "give thanks in all things." But then, without warning, there are the bad days. The days when I can't remember things. When I lose things. When I can't read or write. When my balance is off. When I'm feeling lonely. Missing getting in a car and driving myself places. Missing going to lunch with the girls. Missing all the things that used to be a part of my life. Missing feeling normal.

Those are days when it is really hard to "give thanks." On those days, I feel anything but thankful. On those days, I struggle.

You may not have had a stroke. But I suspect that, no matter what the circumstances of your life, you have your own list of less-than-I-would-like-it-to-be situations. We all do. We all face circumstances in life that make rejoicing ALWAYS a bit of a challenge. We all have situations when we don't feel like smiling.

But these verses don't tell us to smile always. They don't tell us to always feel thankful. They tell us to give thanks in all things. 

Giving thanks in all thinks is not about feelings. It is an act of the will.

How do we do that? How do we deal with the bad days? How do we give thanks in all things, even when we don't feel like it?

For me, the answer is simple. Not easy, but simple. I pray. Even on the days when I can't form a coherent thought, I pray.

Lord, I'm struggling today. Things are not going well today. I want to give thanks, but I just don't feel like it. I'm so thankful for all you have done for me and for all you have brought me through, but I confess that today I'm really having a hard time. I need your help. Thank you.

That may not make me read any better or remember any better. But it will get me through the hard days. It will help me to focus on giving thanks, rather than focusing on circumstances.

And that brings to mind another passage of scripture, this one from Hebrews. Don't you love how it all fits together?

"Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, FIXING OUR EYES ON JESUS."  (Hebrews 12:1-2a NASB, emphasis mine).

Eyes on Jesus, not on circumstances. With that focus, rejoicing and giving thanks really becomes much easier.


Which will you choose?

Child of the River. A Book Review.

Sometimes I choose to read a book because of the subject matter. Sometimes I read books that have been recommended to me. And sometimes I choose a book just because it was written by a favorite author. There are all sorts of reasons why I read. In this case, I selected Child of the River by Irma Joubert because of its setting in South Africa.




This is a coming-of-age story of Persomi, who is young, white, and poor, born the middle child of illiterate sharecroppers on the prosperous Fourie farm in the South African Bushveld. Persomi’s world is extraordinarily small. This passage struck me right away: To the right of a rocky outcrop she could see the winding road in the distance, where the sun came up and the earth stopped, the road drowned itself in a big dam. Far beyond the shimmering expanse of water lay the town. Persomi had never been there.

Persomi spends her days absorbed in the rhythms of the natural world around her, escaping the brutality and squalor of her family home through the newspapers and books passed down to her from the main house and through her walks in the nearby mountains.


Persomi’s closest relationship is with her older brother Gerbrand, who leaves the farm to fight on the side of the Anglos in WWII. But as her very small world falls apart, and as Persomi navigates the changing world around her—war and the devastating racial strife of her homeland—she discovers who she truly is, where she belongs, and why her life matters.




This history and culture drew me to this book, and I loved how beautifully it was written. Even so, I confess I struggled a bit with this one. Perhaps that's because there were so many idioms that were unfamiliar to me, or perhaps it's just the fact that reading in my "post-stroke" world is just hard! In spite of my personal struggles, this is a book worth reading. You should give it a try!




I received a free copy of Child of the River from Thomas Nelson Publishing in exchange for my honest opinion.

Refreshed

It has been said that all good things must come to an end. That is certainly true of vacations. Today is back to reality. But even as I am experiencing the "reentry" that comes after a vacation, I am feeling renewed and refreshed.


For the last few years, vacation has meant sitting in a beach chair with my toes in the sand, listening to the sounds of ocean waves crashing onto the beach.



This year we decided to do something different, and we headed for the mountains.

When we were at the beach last year, we enjoyed the exploits of Pete the Pelican.

This year we followed the adventures of Dudley Duck.

What a relaxing week it was. No particular agenda. No appointments or doctor visits that had to be kept. No chores to be done.





Just relaxing. Laughing. Talking. Making memories together. A week of giggles and snorts and belly laughs. The sounds of love. The sounds of family.



Now it's back to "real" life! Yet even as I'm faced with unpacking and sorting laundry and putting things away, there's a smile on my face. 



Relaxed.  Refreshed.  Renewed.




It wasn't just about the location. It was about the people.


It was smiles and giggles and laughter. It was conversation. It was together. It was family.



Family. One of life's greatest blessings.



The vacation is over. But the memories will last a lifetime.



More happy than my heart can hold.



"Bless the LORD, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless His holy name."  (Psalm 103:1 ESV)