Worst. Game. Ever.

When I was a young married woman, we often had Sunday lunch with Al's parents. And often, there were many other relatives there as well, a house filled with people. Typically after lunch, the men went to the den and the women to the living room. I don't know what the men talked about. I only remember being horrified that all these older-than-I women seemed to talk about was their aches and pains, and their medicines, and the scars from their surgeries. I remember thinking, is this what I have to look forward to?

I have now entered the season of life where I suppose I would have something to contribute to those conversations. I have my own set of surgery scars and my own assortment of prescriptions to talk about.  Yet even now I find myself wondering why that is such a fascinating topic of conversation. As a young woman, I was a little intimidated by all those conversations about aches and pains and surgery scars, even as I was also horrified by them. In many ways, nothing has changed.

I say nothing has changed, because now, nearly fifty years later, I have observed that the conversations are still very much the same. People still love to talk about their aches and pains, and their medicines, and their surgeries. Additionally, it seems that everyone wants to be sure their particular malady is the "star of the show". In other words, Linda Sue wants to be sure you know that her particular ailment has been written up in medical journals as the worst case of (whatever) on record, while Sally Jo is certain no one ever had such a difficult child-birth as when her babies were born, but Betty Ann can outdo everybody with how long she was in the hospital and how many infections she had and the rare diagnosis she got.  On and on it goes. In every conversation, we're all trying to outdo each other. My ingrown toenail was much more traumatic than your quadruple bypass. My headaches have been written up in medical journals. I had to travel to [insert big-name hospital] to have my bruised elbow diagnosed. On and on and on it goes. Names have been changed to protect the guilty!

Some things just don't change, I guess. From one generation to the next, human nature is still the same.  It's part of our nature to want to be the center of attention. To be the star of the show. And so we continue to play the game.

You know the game I mean. I'm not talking about baseball or football or hockey. Or about Monopoly or Clue or Angry Birds. Or about a card game or a video game.

It's the game we all play. The one we deny playing, but we play all the same. We're all too familiar with this game. And it's the worst. Worst. Game. Ever.

It's the comparison game. The game no one can win. The game where we take over the conversations to be sure everyone knows just how sick we really are. Or how much we've had to suffer. Far more than any body else. It's the game where we try, in vain, to prove that we're just a little bit more. More important.  More sick. More suffering. More pitiful. More whatever.  

At the same time, it's the game where we never quite measure up. Where we're always feeling less than.  

Less pretty. Less talented. Less intelligent. Less useful. Less.

It's a terrible game. It's a game we can't win. Because no matter how much we try to prove by our boasting or our complaining or our pushing ourselves to the center of the conversation, that we are more than, better than, we still, down deep on the inside, feel less than.

The root problem, the real reason we try so hard to appear to be more than even when we are feeling so less than, is that all these comparisons we make are based on a false premise.

This comparison game we play is based on the premise that what I think someone else is thinking about me is actually what they're thinking. And most of the time, maybe even all the time, what they are actually thinking is miles away from what I think they are thinking.

Even more important, what "they" think of me doesn't really matter so much anyway, does it? Isn't what the Lord thinks of me what really matters? That's what we tell ourselves we believe, and most of the time we probably do. But then there are those times when that little voice inside our heads starts talking to us and convinces us that we are less. And so we start playing "the game".  Worst. Game. Ever.

It's the "I'm Completely Inadequate" game. Also known as the "I'm Not Quite Good Enough" game.  Sometimes known as the "Nobody Else Ever Has Any Problems" game. Or the "Nobody Really Understands Just How Hard My Life Is". Or "Nobody Really Knows What I've Been Through". 

There are all sorts of variations to this game. The game has no rules. We all make up our own rules. And don't pretend you've never played this game.

We play it when we are tired or when we are frustrated or when we are scared. We play it when we are feeling intimidated. We play it when we are trying to fit in. Or when we are trying to make a good first impression. It happens when we listen to our sister or our best friend or our neighbor or our church acquaintance or someone we just met. You know her. She bakes her own bread and grows all her own vegetables and upholsters furniture and makes drapes and has perfect children who are perfectly dressed and she has a perfect haircut and only eats organic food and goes on three cruises every year and never has any worries about money and she just finished her first novel which is now on the best-seller list.

The problem begins when we compare our worst day to her best. Or at least what she reveals or what we perceive that to be.

But the real problem is not that we're making a comparison of worst to best. The real problem is making a comparison at all.

How much better life would be if we would stop playing this game. If we could teach ourselves to stop making comparisons. If we could learn to be content. If we could shift our focus from what someone else is or has or does, and focus on becoming all that God intends each of us individually to be. If we could keep our eyes fixed on Jesus rather than on someone else. If we could be encouraging others to keep their eyes fixed on Him rather than keeping their eyes fixed on us. If we could focus on running the race He has set before us, rather than focusing on the race He set before someone else, or trying to run their race, or wishing we could.  

Perhaps that's the real secret to contentment. Eyes fixed on Jesus. Not on our neighbor or our friend or the celebrity on TV. Not on what someone else has or does. Not on our circumstances.

Eyes fixed on Jesus.  

Not on playing that silly comparison game.  

Which is the Worst. Game. Ever.


"Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God."  (Hebrews 12:1-2, ESV, emphasis mine)

Happiness Is a Yellow Kitchen

I’m traveling down memory lane today. It started with a visit to my home town for a visit with my uncle, aunt, and cousin. A conversation that day prompted thoughts of our upcoming wedding anniversary, which led me to all sorts of memories. And then I landed on memories of our first kitchen.

If you know me, or if you have followed this blog for very long, you know that we have lived in a lot of places. A lot! But when I remember favorite places, especially favorite kitchens, that first one always comes to mind.

We started married life in a very small house in the “Avenues” of West Columbia, South Carolina. The kitchen was the biggest room in the house! But that isn’t the only reason why I loved it. You see, in our very first house, long years ago, our kitchen was yellow. A sunny yellow. I don't remember why I chose that color back then, but I'm glad I did. It was a cheerful room, and I loved that! Of all the kitchens we have ever had, it is one of my favorites, probably because it was sunny and bright, but also because it had LOTS of cabinets!

I couldn’t find a picture of the whole kitchen, but I did find this one of our boys, when they were young, in the kitchen. It gives you a hint of my sunny yellow kitchen.

Thinking about this kitchen and our first house, and all the kitchens in between, has me thinking about all the places we have lived. All the houses and apartments that became "home".  All the friends we have made along the way.

All that moving around required some adjustments here and there. Adjusting to different climates. To different accents and speech patterns. To knowing whether a Coke was really Coke or pop or soda. To knowing whether to call a shopping cart a cart or a buggy or a trolly or a wagon or a basket.

Life has turned out differently than I once envisioned it. Even so, it has been a wonderful adventure and I am so very grateful! Grateful for all the stops we've made along our journey. For all the places we have lived. For all the people we have met along the way. For friendships. And for that yellow kitchen.

"Bless the LORD, O my soul; and all that is within me, bless His holy name.  Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget none of His benefits."  (Psalm 103:1-2 NASB)

Adorned. A Book Review.

I just finished reading Adorned. Living Out the Beauty of The Gospel by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, and I can't say enough good things about it.  Wolgemuth is a well-known author and Bible teacher, and reading this book is just like sitting and listening to her teach.

This is a long book when compared to many other books in this genre - 14 chapter plus an epilogue - and is a book that should be read slowly and deliberately. Adorned takes several verses from the New Testament book of Titus (Titus 2:1-5, 10) and bases each chapter on a specific phrase from these verses, all pointing us toward "adorning the doctrine of God our Savior."

This is a book written to women about how to be Godly women. Wolgemuth says that "we need to understand how to adorn the teaching of the gospel of Christ with the way we live - and help others to do the same." With that goal in mind, this is an excellent book for personal study or for Bible study groups.

Adorned is a much-needed book in our culture. The focus in this book is on sound doctrine, without which we can be easily led astray and become susceptible to false teachings. Wogemuth reminds us that we must learn how to discern truth from error, which comes from knowing sound doctrine, without which we cannot live in a way that honors God.

I found this book to be convicting and encouraging and refreshing. I urge you to get a copy and read it for yourself. 

"...so that in everything they may adorn the doctrine of God our Savior." (Titus 2:10 ESV)

The Rest Of The Story

“Christ died for sin, once for all, the just for the unjust, in order to bring us to God, having been put to death in the flesh but made alive in the spirit."  (1 Peter 3:18 NASB)

Christ died. For sin. For my sin. For your sin. For the sin of the world.

But He didn't stay dead! That’s the good news of Easter. Christ died. But Christ is risen!

Friday tells us that the sacrifice for sin, once for all, for all time, was made.

Sunday tells us that the sacrifice was accepted. The work of redemption is complete. It is finished!  

It. Is. Finished.

We celebrated that on Sunday. We sang the songs of resurrection. We worshipped. We rejoiced. We spent time with family and friends. We had a wonderful day.

And now Easter is over.  

Or is it?

Is "Easter" ever really over? Do not we who are Christian celebrate Resurrection Day every day of our lives? Is this not the best thing that ever happened to us?  

Or will we treat it as something we have now celebrated and have done with for another year?

Think back to that Resurrection Day. Think on each of the encounters people had with the risen Lord.   

Mary Magdalene met Jesus in the garden, early in the morning while it was still dark. Once she recognized Him, what did Jesus say to her?  "Go tell my brothers." (John 20:17)

Matthew's gospel tells us about the women who came to the tomb. There they met the risen Lord, and He gave them an instruction. "Go tell my brothers." (Matthew 28:10)

Mark's gospel says, "Go tell......"  (Mark 16:9)

Luke tells us that Jesus spoke to the disciples, saying, "Thus it is written, that the Christ should suffer and on the third day rise from the dead, and that repentance and forgiveness of sins should be proclaimed in his name to all nations, beginning from Jerusalem.  You are witnesses of these things."  (Luke 24:46-48 ESV, emphasis mine)

Do you see the pattern? An encounter with Jesus. Learn of the resurrection. "See" Jesus, and then what? Go and tell!

The disciples did exactly that. Once they knew that Jesus was risen, they told everybody! They went throughout the known world, telling the good news that Jesus was alive. They had a message to share, a commission to share it, and they did exactly that.

What about you and me, here in the 21st century? We too are "witnesses of these things"!

The message is the same. Jesus is alive!

The commission is the same.  Go and tell.  

"Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you.  And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age."                        

(Matthew 28:19-20 ESV)

Go and tell. That's how we continue to celebrate Resurrection. But as you are going, and as you are telling, be sure to tell the whole story.

Christ has died.  Christ is risen.  Christ will come again.

That's the "rest of the story", as Paul Harvey used to say. Let's be sure to tell that part!

"[Jesus said] I will come again and receive you to myself, that where I am, there you may be also."  (John 14:3)

At A Distance

It’s a cool, rainy morning here in the Upstate. Quite a contrast to the glorious sunshine we enjoyed yesterday. It was fitting that we had sunshine yesterday. It was Easter! Resurrection Day!

Yesterday was a gorgeous day. Our outdoor service was so special and meaningful. We enjoyed a delicious lunch with friends who have become family. And throughout the day on social media I enjoyed seeing pictures of family and friends in their Easter finery, celebrating the day. I loved seeing pictures of friends and family, and seeing how their families had grown. But I was more blessed by knowing that most of them were doing this to honor and celebrate our risen Savior.

However, I was saddened to realize that for some, Easter was only about a brunch or a family gathering with some Easter eggs thrown in. It breaks my heart. Which is the backdrop for this post.

A few weeks ago, I began reading through the Gospels again. And this verse grabbed my attention:

Then they seized him and led him away, bringing him into the high priest's house, and Peter was following at a distance."  (Luke 22:54 ESV)

At a distance. Three of the four Gospels include this information. That Peter, after Jesus was arrested, followed Him to the house of the high priest at a distance.

Peter, who had been with Jesus almost from the beginning of His public ministry.

Peter, who had said, "You are the Christ, the Son of the Living God."  (Matthew 16:16 ESV)

Peter, who had been with Jesus at the Transfiguration.

Peter, who just a short while earlier had said, "Lord, I am ready to go with you both to prison and to death."  (Luke 22:33 ESV)

Peter now follows Jesus at a distance.

And so I wonder how many today who call themselves Christian are following at a distance. 

What about you? How are you following Jesus? Are you following at a distance?

Something to think about.


"If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me."  (Luke 9:23 ESV)

From Top to Bottom

 

It’s Good Friday, the day Christ Jesus died. The day He paid the price for your sins and mine, for the sins of the whole world.

"And Jesus cried out with a loud voice and yielded up his spirit."  (Matthew 27:50 ESV)

On that day, according to the Gospel of Matthew, another important event occurred. “And behold, the curtain of the temple was torn in two, from top to bottom." (Matthew 27:51 ESV)

In those days there was a temple in Jerusalem, on the Temple Mount, in the place where the Dome of the Rock now stands. That temple had been constructed according to the pattern given by God in the Old Testament. There was an outer court where the altar was located. There was a Holy Place, which contained the altar of incense, the table of showbread, and the golden lampstand. And there was the Holy of Holies, where the Mercy Seat was, on the Ark of the Covenant.

The Holy Place was separated from the Holy of Holies by a heavy curtain. sometimes called a veil. This veil was more than twenty yards high and more than four inches thick. Only the High Priest could enter the Holy of Holies, and only once a year on the Day of Atonement.

But on Crucifixion Friday, that heavy curtain was torn in two, from top to bottom!  

What's the significance of that?

"Through His own blood, [Jesus] entered the holy place once for all, having obtained eternal redemption." (Hebrews 9:12 NASB)

"Therefore we have confidence to enter the holy place by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way which He inaugurated for us through the veil, that is, His flesh." (Hebrews 10:19-20 NASB)

Because the veil was torn, because Jesus gave His life for us, we can now go directly into the Holy of Holies. We now have access, through Christ, directly to the Father! All because of what Jesus did for us!

Because it is true that the veil was torn, and because it is true that we can now confidently enter the holy place, and because of what Jesus accomplished for us, what are we to do?

We are to draw near: "Let us draw near with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith."  (Hebrews 10:22 NASB)

We are to hold fast: "Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful."  (Hebrews 10:23 NASB)

We are to consider: "Let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds.” (Hebrews 10:24 NASB)

We are to encourage: "Encouraging one another."  (Hebrews 10:25 NASB)

We are to assemble together: “Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together….” (Hebrews 10:25 NASB)

The veil was torn.

It was torn from top to bottom. That means it was not torn by man, but by God.  

The veil prevented men from access to the Holy of Holies, the symbol of the place where God dwelt.

The veil was torn, allowing access to the Holy of Holies. It was torn at the precise moment that Christ died on that cross.

Christ's death allows us access into the Holy of Holies! Christ's death allows us into relationship with God the Father through the blood of Christ the Son.

And that is a reason to celebrate! Not just on Good Friday or on Easter Sunday. But every day!

Because of Jesus, we can boldly approach the throne of God!  Hallelujah!

Fatal Code. A Book Review.

 Natalie Walters has become one of my favorite authors and Fatal Code is one of the reasons why. She is a master of the romantic suspense genre!

Fatal Code is the second book in The SNAP Agency series. I haven’t read the first one, but this one easily stands on its own. In this installment, Elinor Mitchel, the granddaughter of one of the Los Alamos nuclear energy project, discovers she has highly sensitive material in her possession - and a target on her back. The SNAP Agency is called on to investigate the situation. A member of the agency (Kekoah) just happens to be Elinor’s neighbor, and so it begins.

This is an intense page-turner. Elinor is accused of betraying her employer, and her country. Is she guilty or is she being framed? Who is really at fault? What do her grandfather’s letters have to with all this? And in the middle of all the questions and accusations and danger is a beautiful friendship developing between Elinor and her neighbor Kekoah. 

This book is dramatic and intense, yet also filled with humor and friendship. The characters are believable, the storyline well developed, with a satisfying conclusion that kept me guessing all the way to the end.

I received a copy from Net Galley and Revell. The opinions are my own.

It’s a Journey

I've been doing some reminiscing over the last few days. It began when a collection of random memories from many, many years ago popped up on my Facebook feed. Then we watched a video from my last Sunday at the church I served in Minnesota, and I felt so much joy, remembering leading music and playing the piano - things I am no longer able to do.

The reminiscing continues as I look at the calendar. Nearly 7 years have passed since we packed up our belongings and moved. Again. 7 years since we left one home behind and settled into another. That experience brought a lot of questions our way. When are you moving? Where are you going? Why?

The when and where were easily answered. The why was a bit more complicated. Not that we didn’t  know the why, but just that it's a rather lengthy answer. Even after all this time has passed, people still sometimes ask why? There are a number of reasons why we moved to Spartanburg. But the bottom line answer, the this-sums-it-all-up answer, is still that we moved here because this is what God lead us to do.

As I’ve been reminiscing about that moving experience, I have the same answer now as I did in 2015. Moving here was about following where God leads. As we have always done through these nearly 50 years of marriage.

That following has led us on a journey around the country. A journey that has not always been easy, but that has been so worth it. A journey of obedience, because many years ago we made a commitment to follow wherever the Lord would lead us.

 
Because we said wherever He leads, I'll go.

When we said that all those years ago, we had no idea where our journey would take us. To the Rocky Mountains. To New England. To the Upper Midwest and the frozen tundra of Minnesota! To the beauty of Florida. To these mountains. And now back to where we started. Back in our home state. In the city where I was born.

What a journey! But whether or not we had lived in all these different locations, life would still be a journey. Full of beautiful scenery. With some smooth, straight roads. And some narrow, winding roads.  And some potholes. Some hills to climb. And then coast down the other side.

Life is a journey. Full of all kinds of interesting adventures. A journey of laughter. And of tears. Of days that are busy, full of hustle and bustle. And days that are quiet. With some sickness and some health. And some better and some worse. Some richer and some poorer. It's all part of the journey.

And throughout the journey, for those of us who know and love the Lord, He is working all things together for our good. (Romans 8:28). For our good and for His glory.

All because we have made a commitment that wherever He leads, I'll go.

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Good Books!

If you know me, or if you have followed this blog for any length of time, you know I love books! I love the look of them and the feel of them and the smell of them. And I love to read them! Lately I’ve read a number of really good books, along with a couple that were disappointing. Let me tell you about a couple of my recent favorites.

Liz Tolsma is a gifted story teller, and A Promise Engraved is no exception. Rich in history, this dual time line gives us the stories of Josie in the 1830s and Kayleigh in the present day. These women are connected by an engraved ring.

Meticulous research, great characters, and seamless transitions between the story lines make this a great read. A Promise Engraved is history, mystery, themes of forgiveness and redemption, and a gentle love story, all woven together in one package.

A Promise Engraved is an excellent addition to Barbour’s Doors to the Past collection. In fact, if you enjoy historical fiction, I recommend the entire collection to you.

Another recent favorite is Carved in Stone. Here Elizabeth Camden transports us to the Gilded Age. She seamlessly weaves together a story of advances in science in the early 20th century, the wealth of the banking industry, and the abject poverty of the slums and tenements of New York City.

This is the story of two people from opposite sides of the economic spectrum. Patrick is an almost-priest, now turned lawyer. Grace is heiress. They meet on the opposite side of a dispute between her family’s bank and Patrick’s client.

Camden has done a masterful job of ticking all the boxes - flawless writing against a great historical backdrop, impeccable research, deeply layered characters, some suspense, a tender romance, and a gentle thread of faith woven throughout.

I’m looking forward to the next installment in The Blackstone Legacy series.

Currently I’m reading Fatal Code by Natalie Walters, a real page-turner that is history combined with romantic suspense. I also am in the middle of a non-fiction work by Nancy DeMoss Holgemuth titled Adorned - Living Out the Beauty of The Gospel Together. More about those when I finish.

What are you reading?